Ninja code

"As a ninja, you obtain certain responsibilities such as kicking asses and looking cool and tough."

Coincidence Design, stalkers for hire

If you're wealthy but still fairly young, you work out, and you can make witty remarks, but you can't find a good woman, maybe it's because you think witty remarks are a suitable substitute for intelligence, substance, and compassion.
Or maybe you're just an idiot.

Hmm, maybe your affectionate kitty actually has an ulterior motive.