Remember kids, all sex is bad and dirty. Since you can't win, might as well have crazy circus sex with boys young enough to be your son, I say.
No, wait, no, I didn't mean that. No sex, BAD sex! Must never be naked, must take showers in a white nightgown.
In other news, tried out my new Rabbit last night. It didn't do it for me, which sucks, beause it's not like I can return it now, and even with a 20% discount, it still wasn't cheap.