This morning, only the fifth morning of the year, I woke up
1. on the couch -- resolution failure rate 40%
2. at 9:00 am, when I should be leaving for work -- on-time failure rate 60%
3. fully dressed, contacts in, uncharged cellphone, unbrushed teeth, no mouthguard, unwashed face -- nothing to do with any resolutions, as I usually manage to get fully ready for bed and then still fall asleep on the couch
4. with eye makeup still on -- resolution success rate 90%!
5. having drunk three Jamesons on the rocks last night -- success rate 50%
6. and smoked one cigarette -- failure rate 100%, in fact it seems to be inspiring me
Although the bed-head was very cute, it was full of massage oil, and that wasn't going to fly at work. So I had to wash it, which took time, which meant
7. I drove into work today -- failure rate 40%
Last night, I went to Exhale for a Fusion Massage. It was possibly the best massage I've ever gotten, except maybe for the Russian in Cambridge years ago. I also bought a yoga mat, and soy candles, and picked up some sushi at Whole Foods, and had every intention of going home, washing the last of the New Years dishes (I know, I know), and getting to bed all early and healthy.
Instead, 80sDave and I went to Buttermilk (someone make those folks a half-decent website of their own, please). Three whiskeys and a bummed smoke later, I'd undone all the good of my visit (and sleeping on the couch was the nail in that coffin). The country boy decided it's okay if I think the cowboy's hot, since he's a rock star and all. Don't worry, baby, I still love you best. I just have to find someone who's not afraid to sleep with me, is all.
Jukebox playlist, just for Dave:
Don't Fear the Reaper
Ain't that a Kick in the Head
Break My Body
Just Like Heaven
Ever Fallen in Love
and I'm missing one, if you remember, Dave?