Oh, my god, I have to go home and beat off now.
Or is "rub one out" a more hipster-appropriate term? Suggestions welcome.
I am an entropy magnet.
-- Less talk, more monkeys.
-- Indulge often. Welcome temptation. Resist nothing. Satisfy always.
-- Delicious and Nutritious!
-- More drinking, less driving.
-- Admit it, so are you.