As they say on the boards. I know you're eager for news, so I'm posting from my conference (sshh).
How could I have possibly forgotten to pick up a test, you ask? Honestly, I was pretty sure it would be negative, so my subconscious must have, surprisingly, preferred taxes to bad news.
I'll try again soon, and you'll be sure to hear all about it.
Thanks again, all you darlings!