Nesting | The Public Radio Talent Quest

The Public Radio Talent Quest!

I'm up, I'm on, I've bared one minute and 30 seconds of my soul. Have you voted yet? Left a comment? Then pass the link around and spread the word, and be sure to poke around the site. There's some pretty good clips on there to listen to! Remember, when I'm all Public Radio famous, I won't forget who helped me get there, and I'll share your stories with the world (with your permission, of course!)

Stop shedding at the source

Handy trick, if only Siena didn't run at the very sight of the vacuum cleaner. IllogicalVulcan thinks the cat's too fat to run away, but from the looks of it, I think she's enjoying it...

Music fan gets Popped; and Winchester's not that bad...

As Boston.com put it, "Shoving match disrupts opening night of Boston Pops." Apparently someone doesn't take too kindly to being asked to keep it down. Reminds me of that time I went to a movie, and the woman in the seat in front of me sat on the back of her chair, instead of the seat, just to push it down onto my knees! Why? Because the guy sitting next to me had asked her to keep it down...

Anyway, it was the Pop-Ed feature today, and the comments on the message board are hysterical (if you ignore the assholes like bakala_2000). This might be my fave, if unfair, post:

Cynthia and moi witnessed the whole shameful event. It all started when the heathen sitting in the less than desirable seat in the balcony, must have been a Yale man, accidentally spilled his glass of Dom Perignon onto the blazer of the gentleman sitting next to him. He said, "Excuse me sir", to which the gentleman with the wet blazer replied, "Sir! I demand satisfaction!" He then stood up and scolded him severely! Well, Cynthia almost fainted at the sight of such roughhewns and I summoned the chauffer and we were whisked back to Winchester. I must say it will be some time before we dare to go back to the Pops again!

Seriously -- we're not all like that in Winchester.

First We Have Brunch with our Moms, Then We Take Cambridge

Zombiewalk returns this Sunday; you could give Mom brains, brains, brains for Mother's Day... if she's into that.

And speaking of brains for bruch, I present you with Zombie Cate Blanchett and her Distressingly Bruised Bosoms.

Nicholas G. Carr: My new internet crush

Okay, so he went to Dartmouth undergrad; so no one's perfect. And Dartmouth is pretty close to Smith. But come on! So cute, so intellectual, so cutting edge. I should talk to him about what we're doing with Mobile technologies, and I'd love to debate with him how cell phones have irreversibly changed our society.

PS: OMG, he quotes my fave T.S. Eliot! Rumor has it he might be a Mormon, but I don't think I care. This man uses his brain on all that I've been musing on of late, such stuff as my career and future might be made on.

Math lessons with Abbie

Not only does Abbie have a posse, he also had a birthday. And he chose to spend it, not fucking in public (usually a very cat thing to do, but once a year he cedes it tot he humans, I guess) but rather teaching you math.

Well-trained chicks and ducks

As much as I love the Fug Girls, I'm way more concerned about his lack of a chin in this picture, than about the pastel.

Kerry Healey's no-brainer

See, whenever I feel down about beign dateless, I get another story about how dangerous dating is, and I can refocus. Now we've got GPS monitoring for batterers, which is brilliant, but God I can't believe we still need this -- and instead we need it more than ever. Sigh.

Offline

I've had two deaths in the family, I didn't get a promotion at the paper that I really wanted and was perfect for (everyone is shocked; they all thought I was a shoe-in), I've got two huge work deadlines looming over me, and a third deadline for the fraternity. So..

1. If I'm cranky, I'm sorry.

2. If I'm weepy, it's not you, it's me.

3. If I have any reason to think that a communication from you is going to be anything less than incredibly sweet and supportive and nice, I won't answer the phone/read the message/reply. Tough shit. (I've currently got two unread e-mails and a third I wish I hadn't opened. I deleted it, which was smart, because it prevents me from sending the kind of bitchy reply it deserves, but that I would later regret.)

4. If you've got your own issues/problems/fuck-ups that you want to project onto me, or dump my way, now's not the time. Sack up.

My horoscope said I can take some time out to lick my wounds, so I will. I'll be back to form next week.

Get outdoors!

Hooray, hooray, the First of May! You know what to do with this bench...

Why you're still single

I have lots of guy friends who can't understand why they're still single. Why are they surrounded by all these great women, but they can't get dates? It's very hard to tell a friend you care about that they're just not boyfriend -- let alone husband -- material, but perhaps this little anecdote can help shed some light on the problem.

For reasons not crucial to this story, I am friends with a bunch of brothers of a fraternity other than my own. One of these guys, let's call him Jackie Chan, often talks about his desire to quit his job and retire early. To be fair, he's got a great job, owns his house, and in general leads a responsible life. But he's not an investing whiz, he didn't write the great American novel/screenplay, he hasn't invented the next Google. His best plan so far involves marrying a rich woman, and of course she should be gorgeous too. I don't think he's considered what he would have to offer her in return.

Well, it certainly won't be his charm or thoughtfulness. The boys are having a party in Jersey, and Jackie Chan isn't going because he doesn't have a date. I've played stunt date before at this thing, and I've been known to use a stunt date myself for other similar occasions, so last-minute, I offered my services. Anyway, it's been a few months since I've been down to New York, and I'm going to be traveling for the next few months, so a trip to see a bunch of the guys and their women would be nice.

Not gonna happen. I just got this e-mail from him:

I might have kung fu in the afternoon on Saturday....
Would you mind meeting up at the Ball?

I did mention it's somewhere in Jersey, right? Oh, also it turns out that not too many of the guys are going after all.

So I replied:

Yeah, that would actually suck unspeakably a lot. Considering that I will have just gotten in from Boston, won't have a car, won't know how to get there, and will know like 3 people there.

I think I'll skip it this year and stay safely up north. But maybe some other time, if a bunch of folks I know are going and you're once again in desperate need of a date -- desperate enough to settle for a non-supermodel who's worth a few million less than what you aspire to in your "marry rich and retire early" plan... ;)

Have fun at Kung Fu!

Guys, in case you haven't heard, there was this revolution a few decades ago. We don't need you anymore; we only associate with you because we like to. Now, to be fair, Jackie Chan and I are never going to date; we're just not those kinds of friends. But bad habits don't stay contained; they have a tendency to spill over into other situations. So if you ever expect to convince one of us to put up with your stinky feet and X-Box addiction, you'd best start practicing the little niceties on the guinea pigs you already have available.

Glass half-full

oh how I do love This American Life.

Express Yourself

I used to have one of those spandex dresses, until someone in my dorm named VA "borrowed" it and never gave it back. Which still makes me sad, because it was totally the kind of dress I would never wear again but would love to keep in my closet to pull out and show off to my daughters what crazy hot shit I used to be in college. Seriously, I wore that dress in Spain playing pool in bars, and I could have made some serious money if we were gambling -- No one could pay attention to their game.

I do have a picture somewhere, at least. I'll try to find it and post it here, so you can see my former glory.

Hair tips for girls

I'm at a party where I know no one. A college party, no less, in a neighborhood where I used to teach junior high (probably while these kids were still in elementary school, if I'm lucky). A punk rock basement band college party, and I'm wearing a velvet skirt and no leather or visible piercings. I'm just there to keep a friend company, and we're only supposed to stay for a minute.

Not really equipped for the mosh pit, I go out on the deck for some air. Damn I want a cigarette, but no way am I going to bum from these kids. I lean against the doorframe and observe.

"Excuse me, I know this is really strange to ask, but... How do you get your hair to do that? It's so gorgeous!"

Okay, I do have fabulous hair, but you wouldn't think the punk rockers would appreciate it... So I tell the pretty blond in the orange hoodie my secret for five-minute hair fabulousness:

1. Flip head over and dry as quickly as possible
2. Comb out snarls.
3. Put in a dozen velcro rollers, the kind with metal on the inside so they heat up (cheap at CVS)
4. Blast for a minute or two with the hair dryer on high heat.
5. Get in car, drive to party, remove before exiting car.

She laughs. "wow, if I'd known it was so easy... I never do anything with my hair; I still have semen in it from last nigh-- oh, did I just say too much?"

"Hey, whatever works!"

Now we've bonded. She introduces me to all her friends, and within minutes I've rubbed a few shaved heads and learned how to open a beer with a lighter. A cute guy named Bubba has his arm around my waist while I smoke a cig he bummed for me. The kids in the yard below us are wailing a hard-core a cappella version of some Journey song, and all is right with the world.

More good news for this weekend

Daily Love for April 14, 2007
Provided by Astrology.com

Daily Flirt:
Fate or free will? A sign could drive itself nuts contemplating the question too closely. It might be a crazy cocktail of both. The stars can push you in a certain direction, but only you can decide how you get there.

Daily Couples:
Draw on your deepest instincts when deciding how to surprise your partner today. The odds are good that you will come up with something nearly perfect!

Daily Singles:
Why go with the flow when you can channel some fabulous romantic energy right where you want it? You can use your bountiful charms to make sweet stuff happen now -- and you'll never know unless you try.

A tale of two streets - The Boston Globe

My office is in this area, and I agree -- Congress Street wins! The street is way more comfortable and human-scaled (at least it will be when all the construction is done), the cars don't speed down the street at highway velocity, the kids from the Children's Museum are adorable, the bars and cafes are cuter. And, though they threw someone off the roof of one of our buildings in The Departed, they're not doing that anymore, so it's much safer, too!

Today's forecast

Daily Love for April 13, 2007
Provided by Astrology.com

Daily Flirt:
Emotions can be overwhelming, but remind yourself to breathe through it and that change can -- and will -- happen. Allowing yourself to feel something in its entirety guarantees that you won't end up stuck there.
[Breathe, what? That's actually been troublesome, love-wise, of late, so good advice.]

Daily Couples:
Your romantic instincts are strong. Now's the time to find a new way to show or tell sweetie how you really feel. They will be blown away by your passionate energy.
[I think I've been pretty good lately about being honest with how I feel, and I don't know how much more I would want to blow anyone away. Blown away sounds too much like "away" for my comfort, but I'll keep trying...]

Daily Singles:
You're bewitching, beguiling and not in the least bewildered, if the stars have their say. The right thing to say, the right move to make, the right place to be -- it's all occurring to you as if by magic.
[Magic! I'm telling you, it's all going to work out. I swear.]

Sunday Times with the Lumberjack

Lumberjacks are everywhere, it's not just me.

I know, you want me to embed the video, not just link to it. But YouTube is giving me a hard time (maybe because I once worked for Viacom?).

Put your money where my mouth is

Hey there, my loving and loyal audience!

Remember when we debated whether I should go back to NPR? And you were all for it?

Remember how this brilliant artist, who should know a thing or two about culture, started getting all insistent that I get myself on the radio, or find myself a public forum in which to tell my stories? He wants me to be the next Spalding Gray, the witty, frantic voice of my generation, but without the personal neuroses, depression and suicide.

Remember that an impartial measure determined that I have a good voice for tv and radio? Because I do!

Well dig this, baby -- the time has come to put it all to the test.

The Public Radio Talent Quest!

Check out my profile, and give me suggestions on how to improve it. Then pass the link around and spread the word, and when the time comes, Vote Early and Often! When I'm all Public Radio famous, I won't forget who helped me get there, and I'll share your stories with the world (with your permission, of course!)

This is your song

JodiRoadie wrote a song for me! Yes, this is about George, yes, he was going to build me a house of strawberries, yes, there was a barn, but it was to be full of artichokes, not sunflowers. Hard to rhyme "Artichoke" though...

I love it!