Are you aware that we are on the verge of a Constitutional crisis? On the surface, what the Republicans are proposing sounds like a minor procedural point, but in reality it totally undermines the system of checks and balances that is inherant to what makes our Constitution so brilliant.
What amazes me the most is the implied arrogance. The Neo-cons want to give a type of absolute, unfettered power to the majority party. Do they assume that they will be in the majority forever more? Don't they realize that once the Dems take control once again, as always happens eventually, then they will have removed their own voice of dissent?
Oy, I hate our political climate these days. It boggles the mind, the bullshit that's going on and that we just accept like beaten-down dogs.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Mash it up
A Stroke of Genius is one of my favorite songs ever, and it even kinda made me a Strokes fan. Anyone else know any good mashups?
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Ides of March
Yep, that would be today, folks, with all of its attendant foreboding. But what exactly is an Ides? Glad you asked.
A trivial matter
Last night my bar-trivia team, the Schoolhouse Rockstars, pulled off a third-place showing with a skeletal crew of pinch-hitters, and word around the Buttermilk environs is that we are a Team To Beat.
Clearly, this team still has glory writ large on its destiny.
Come back, young rockstars! Come back to the warm bosom of Trivia! Dr. Fact welcomes you with open arms.
Trivia takes a holiday in April. The next Night of Fifty Questions will be on Monday, May 9. Let's make a good showing and knock Steve Gutenburg's Bible (two-time winners) back to the Middle Ages! Cash prizes, free beer, and trivia groupies await. Mark your calendars now!
Clearly, this team still has glory writ large on its destiny.
Come back, young rockstars! Come back to the warm bosom of Trivia! Dr. Fact welcomes you with open arms.
Trivia takes a holiday in April. The next Night of Fifty Questions will be on Monday, May 9. Let's make a good showing and knock Steve Gutenburg's Bible (two-time winners) back to the Middle Ages! Cash prizes, free beer, and trivia groupies await. Mark your calendars now!
Thursday, March 10, 2005
a blanket of spring snow
This will be my third spring on Prospect Park, and this year I am determined to not miss one moment of cherry-blossom season at the Botanic Gardens. So I was thrilled to find, and bookmark, this handy Brooklyn Botanic Garden: Guide to the Cherry Tree Collection, and I'll be checking it often and spending as many afternoons as possible in my back yard (the Park itself is my front yard).
Speaking of cherry blossoms, check out this fabulous menu for a cherry-blossom dinner at the James Beard House. It's so incredibly lovely in concept, presentation, and collection of foods that I love, that I'll go alone if I have to. But it would be nice to have a dinner companion. Anyone interested?
And speaking of snowy imagery, the Ashes and Snow exhibit that just opened looks breathtaking, so I'll be trying to catch that this weekend, if I can squeeze it in between all the birthday parties.
Speaking of cherry blossoms, check out this fabulous menu for a cherry-blossom dinner at the James Beard House. It's so incredibly lovely in concept, presentation, and collection of foods that I love, that I'll go alone if I have to. But it would be nice to have a dinner companion. Anyone interested?
And speaking of snowy imagery, the Ashes and Snow exhibit that just opened looks breathtaking, so I'll be trying to catch that this weekend, if I can squeeze it in between all the birthday parties.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Things that go "wha..?!" in the night
Last night, still wiped out and sleep-deprived, plus beaten down by a shift at the Co-op (that used to be an uplifting event), I fell asleep on the couch. I know, I'm bad, I broke my New Year's resolution. And I was doing so well!
When I woke up at 3-ish and went to bed, Siena was poking her head through a hole in my bedroom window. The glass was cracked when I moved in, but now it had fallen out of the frame and become an actual hole. A hole with sharp edges that my beloved monkey was putting her little neck way too close to for my comfort.
I grabbed a square of cardstock out of the recycling bag and taped it over the hole, and today I talked to my landlord about it. But after finding Seece risking life and limb in pursuit of the pidgeons in the airshaft, I wasn't going to sleep any time soon.
So I decided to clean out the nightstand drawer. You know, the infamous place where you store everything you need quick access to, but you don't want out on display? Well, after Sunday morning, it was in a general state of disarray.
First odd discovery -- an entire box of condoms was missing. Last I remembered, there were at least eight in there, and on Sunday we'd been using the stash of giveaways from Valentine season which were still on my living room floor, as I am in winter Slob Mode and haven't put anything away in weeks.
Next odd discovery -- the smaller travel pack was also empty. What the hell, had I gone on some wild orgy-vacation and didn't remember it? The last trip I'd taken was to London, which was chock-full of sparks and flirtation, but devoid of any actual hanking or panking.
The oddest discovery -- a prescription bottle, with four Viagra pills in it. Although I'd forgotten that I had this, this isn't yet the odd part. Remember the cokehead alcoholic ex-boyfriend? All that substance abuse was none too good for performance, but one night he came over and displayed all the stamina of a... well, of a 24-year-old. Uncharacteristic, to say the least. When I questioned him about it, he credited my good influence towards healthy living, and a chunk of time off the sauce.
By morning he had bolted so fast, he'd left his Dopp kit hanging in my bathroom. As I packed it up for him, I noticed the little bottle from an online pharmacy shop, the kind that advertise in spam mail. Healthy living my ass! Although I'd appreciated the effects, I wasn't too thrilled with the lying, nor what it meant about the actual cleanliness (or lack thereof) of his lifestyle. After all, if he didn't even get it from his real doctor, then I wasn't the only one he was hiding something from.
So I stole a few, and stashed them in an old Allegra bottle of mine. I planned to do some experimenting with the next boyfriend and see if that Sex and the City episode was true. And then promptly forgot, of course.
Here's the thing. I had stolen six, not four. So now there's about a dozen condoms, and two Viagra pills, missing from the goody drawer. What the hell? Had someone been partying in my room while I was at work, or out of town? Or maybe the 24-year-old had found the pills, and the 90-minute feat wasn't due to his youthful stamina after all?
Jaye pointed out that the condoms had probably expired, and I had thrown them out. This sounds plausible, and even familiar, and yet so incredibly sad that I don't even want to think about it. But she was at a loss to explain the missing pills. I'd blame the Monkey, but the bottle has a child-proof cap.
After all that excitement, mystery and drama, I had to read a few chapters of Brad & Jen: The Rise and Fall of Hollywood’s Golden Couple just to put myself to sleep.
When I woke up at 3-ish and went to bed, Siena was poking her head through a hole in my bedroom window. The glass was cracked when I moved in, but now it had fallen out of the frame and become an actual hole. A hole with sharp edges that my beloved monkey was putting her little neck way too close to for my comfort.
I grabbed a square of cardstock out of the recycling bag and taped it over the hole, and today I talked to my landlord about it. But after finding Seece risking life and limb in pursuit of the pidgeons in the airshaft, I wasn't going to sleep any time soon.
So I decided to clean out the nightstand drawer. You know, the infamous place where you store everything you need quick access to, but you don't want out on display? Well, after Sunday morning, it was in a general state of disarray.
First odd discovery -- an entire box of condoms was missing. Last I remembered, there were at least eight in there, and on Sunday we'd been using the stash of giveaways from Valentine season which were still on my living room floor, as I am in winter Slob Mode and haven't put anything away in weeks.
Next odd discovery -- the smaller travel pack was also empty. What the hell, had I gone on some wild orgy-vacation and didn't remember it? The last trip I'd taken was to London, which was chock-full of sparks and flirtation, but devoid of any actual hanking or panking.
The oddest discovery -- a prescription bottle, with four Viagra pills in it. Although I'd forgotten that I had this, this isn't yet the odd part. Remember the cokehead alcoholic ex-boyfriend? All that substance abuse was none too good for performance, but one night he came over and displayed all the stamina of a... well, of a 24-year-old. Uncharacteristic, to say the least. When I questioned him about it, he credited my good influence towards healthy living, and a chunk of time off the sauce.
By morning he had bolted so fast, he'd left his Dopp kit hanging in my bathroom. As I packed it up for him, I noticed the little bottle from an online pharmacy shop, the kind that advertise in spam mail. Healthy living my ass! Although I'd appreciated the effects, I wasn't too thrilled with the lying, nor what it meant about the actual cleanliness (or lack thereof) of his lifestyle. After all, if he didn't even get it from his real doctor, then I wasn't the only one he was hiding something from.
So I stole a few, and stashed them in an old Allegra bottle of mine. I planned to do some experimenting with the next boyfriend and see if that Sex and the City episode was true. And then promptly forgot, of course.
Here's the thing. I had stolen six, not four. So now there's about a dozen condoms, and two Viagra pills, missing from the goody drawer. What the hell? Had someone been partying in my room while I was at work, or out of town? Or maybe the 24-year-old had found the pills, and the 90-minute feat wasn't due to his youthful stamina after all?
Jaye pointed out that the condoms had probably expired, and I had thrown them out. This sounds plausible, and even familiar, and yet so incredibly sad that I don't even want to think about it. But she was at a loss to explain the missing pills. I'd blame the Monkey, but the bottle has a child-proof cap.
After all that excitement, mystery and drama, I had to read a few chapters of Brad & Jen: The Rise and Fall of Hollywood’s Golden Couple just to put myself to sleep.
Monday, March 07, 2005
speaking of young love...
How do I love 24-year-olds? Let me count the ways...
--they don't care if you have a better job, make more money, have a nicer apartment then they do.
--they don't feel competitive, because they know they're not on the same playing field.
--they don't think you're old, they just think you're cool.
--they love that you can teach them things, and they're eager to learn.
--they're very respectful and attentive.
--they have so much energy and stamina.
Okay, maybe that last one isn't exactly a plus, if it means you get no sleep all night. Seriously, at 9:15 in the morning, we were still going at it, and I thought I was going to break. He let me sleep for a little while, but was up for more by ten.
Clearly I need to get back to the gym if I want to keep up. And I do, so I will.
I know you've been dying for other boy news, so here's a quick recap:
The CB was under the mistaken impression that this here blog is all about him. He must have skipped right over my obsessive posting on Deep Throat and the Gates. So I put him on a me-free diet for a while.
As for the dinner at Tenement, not so much to say. He's still drinking, still smoking, still boring and still refuses to accept any responsibility for anything. Ever. He was exactly the same as when I left him three years ago, and he thought this was a good thing. "Isn't it great, we haven't seen each other in so long, and it's like we haven't lost a day!" Um, no, that's not a good thing. Please don't call me again.
In sum, bring on the young, smart, pretty, funny, worshipful boys. (Damn I hate it when Andrew has a girlfriend!) All I need is a steady stream of younger men to keep me happy.
--they don't care if you have a better job, make more money, have a nicer apartment then they do.
--they don't feel competitive, because they know they're not on the same playing field.
--they don't think you're old, they just think you're cool.
--they love that you can teach them things, and they're eager to learn.
--they're very respectful and attentive.
--they have so much energy and stamina.
Okay, maybe that last one isn't exactly a plus, if it means you get no sleep all night. Seriously, at 9:15 in the morning, we were still going at it, and I thought I was going to break. He let me sleep for a little while, but was up for more by ten.
Clearly I need to get back to the gym if I want to keep up. And I do, so I will.
I know you've been dying for other boy news, so here's a quick recap:
The CB was under the mistaken impression that this here blog is all about him. He must have skipped right over my obsessive posting on Deep Throat and the Gates. So I put him on a me-free diet for a while.
As for the dinner at Tenement, not so much to say. He's still drinking, still smoking, still boring and still refuses to accept any responsibility for anything. Ever. He was exactly the same as when I left him three years ago, and he thought this was a good thing. "Isn't it great, we haven't seen each other in so long, and it's like we haven't lost a day!" Um, no, that's not a good thing. Please don't call me again.
In sum, bring on the young, smart, pretty, funny, worshipful boys. (Damn I hate it when Andrew has a girlfriend!) All I need is a steady stream of younger men to keep me happy.
The bipartisan romance continues
Yeah, sure, Clinton slept on the floor. Who are they kidding? We know they were all snuggled up together.
A Pint for St. Patrick
There was a time when I'd have spent St. Patrick's with my alcoholic ex-boyfriend. We first hooked up while we were plastered on St. Pat's, and after that I was always trying to keep him away from the temptations of excess.
Now that I no longer have that burden, I can drink all I want next Thursday. And since I still seem to have a thing for the nice Irish boys, as proven by this weekend's activities, I intend to be out in full force. Check out these suggestions, or give me some of your own, and let me know if you want to go out!
Now that I no longer have that burden, I can drink all I want next Thursday. And since I still seem to have a thing for the nice Irish boys, as proven by this weekend's activities, I intend to be out in full force. Check out these suggestions, or give me some of your own, and let me know if you want to go out!
Thursday, March 03, 2005
More insidious Saffron
The scandal over the doctored cover photo of Martha Stewart inNewsweek this week misses the real point. Look at those saffrom drapes she's clutching. Martha's out of prison! She went to see The Gates!
More on the Good Doctor's passing
So many stories about the details of HS Thompson's death, and none of them seem to agree. Rocky Mountain News says that his wife and kids were home with him, but in other rooms of the house, when he shot himself. The Boston Globe said he was on the phone with his wife, and shot himself in the middle of the conversation.
No butter, no lemon
You know how I love the lobster, but this is too much even for me. Sadly, he didn't survive the relocation. Looks like we should have made a vat of lobster salad after all; shame to let it go to waste.
Monday, February 28, 2005
"The Crackers"
Yet another riff on "The Gates". Sadly, as Christo's Gates start coming down today, the Somerville Gates are already gone, as the cleaning lady, she has come.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Abandoned Stations
Totally worth a field trip to check these out. I've seen a few already, and it's eerie cool.
Blogging the bloggers
Slate has started keeping tabs on the bloggers. Wonder how long it will take me to make it onto their radar.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
I actually like Chuck
And I think that this stream of unfounded rants about Chuck Klosterman is fine evidence of what a trashy rag NYPress is.
so some French women do get fat
But apparently it's the Americans fault anyway.
Well, that's not allt he article is saying, to be fair. Yet, I have noticed over the past 10-15 years, in Italy, that they've started to eat like us, with frozen yogurt shops replacing gelaterias, and that suddenly everyone is on a diet.
Sad, isn't it?
Well, that's not allt he article is saying, to be fair. Yet, I have noticed over the past 10-15 years, in Italy, that they've started to eat like us, with frozen yogurt shops replacing gelaterias, and that suddenly everyone is on a diet.
Sad, isn't it?
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Bill Clinton is a Rock Star
And now even the evil old Number 41 realizes it.
Since New York Times stories expire, here's a snip for you:
White House Bond: Teamed by No. 43, 41 and 42 Hit It Off
By ELISABETH BUMILLER
...
When Mr. Bush went to the dedication of Mr. Clinton's presidential library in Little Rock, Ark., with the current president and former President Jimmy Carter in November, the 41st and 42nd presidents talked at times with such familiarity that former staff members were taken aback.
"President Clinton was walking with all the presidents, and former President Bush says, 'Bill, what are you doing with this property back here?' " said Representative Rahm Emanuel, an Illinois Democrat was a top aide to Mr. Clinton. "It only sticks with me because it seemed so 'friendlike.' "
More recently, Mr. Bush and Mr. Clinton, whom President Bush appointed last month as his representatives in raising money for tsunami relief, were seen joking with each other as they sat side by side at the Super Bowl, where they had been invited by the National Football League.
...
"Frankly, President Bush likes Clinton a lot," Roland Betts, a close friend of the president, said. "He says he thinks he's a terrific person. He's not judging his administration. He just likes being around him."
...
The warming trend continued a few weeks later, when the president unveiled Mr. Clinton's official portrait at the White House with such gracious words that aides said Mr. Clinton was stunned. Mr. Bush praised Mr. Clinton as a man "with far-ranging knowledge of public policy, a great compassion for people in need and the forward-looking spirit the Americans like in a president."
Mr. Clinton reddened and his eye teared as he acknowledged: "I had mixed feelings coming here today, and they were only confirmed by all those kind and generous things you've said. Made me feel like I was a pickle stepping into history."
By the time of Mr. Clinton's library dedication, he and the Bushes were falling over one another with accolades. But the 41st president spoke about the man who bested him in 1992 in personal and revealing terms.
"It always has to be said that Bill Clinton was one of the most gifted American political figures in modern times," Former President Bush said. "Trust me. I learned this the hard way."
Since New York Times stories expire, here's a snip for you:
White House Bond: Teamed by No. 43, 41 and 42 Hit It Off
By ELISABETH BUMILLER
...
When Mr. Bush went to the dedication of Mr. Clinton's presidential library in Little Rock, Ark., with the current president and former President Jimmy Carter in November, the 41st and 42nd presidents talked at times with such familiarity that former staff members were taken aback.
"President Clinton was walking with all the presidents, and former President Bush says, 'Bill, what are you doing with this property back here?' " said Representative Rahm Emanuel, an Illinois Democrat was a top aide to Mr. Clinton. "It only sticks with me because it seemed so 'friendlike.' "
More recently, Mr. Bush and Mr. Clinton, whom President Bush appointed last month as his representatives in raising money for tsunami relief, were seen joking with each other as they sat side by side at the Super Bowl, where they had been invited by the National Football League.
...
"Frankly, President Bush likes Clinton a lot," Roland Betts, a close friend of the president, said. "He says he thinks he's a terrific person. He's not judging his administration. He just likes being around him."
...
The warming trend continued a few weeks later, when the president unveiled Mr. Clinton's official portrait at the White House with such gracious words that aides said Mr. Clinton was stunned. Mr. Bush praised Mr. Clinton as a man "with far-ranging knowledge of public policy, a great compassion for people in need and the forward-looking spirit the Americans like in a president."
Mr. Clinton reddened and his eye teared as he acknowledged: "I had mixed feelings coming here today, and they were only confirmed by all those kind and generous things you've said. Made me feel like I was a pickle stepping into history."
By the time of Mr. Clinton's library dedication, he and the Bushes were falling over one another with accolades. But the 41st president spoke about the man who bested him in 1992 in personal and revealing terms.
"It always has to be said that Bill Clinton was one of the most gifted American political figures in modern times," Former President Bush said. "Trust me. I learned this the hard way."
Let's Get It Fugging
I can't believe this woman is sleeping with my "other" boyfriend. Just say no to Crystal Meth, kids!
For those of you who can't keep my fantasy life straight: my husband, my boyfriend on the side, and my other boyfriend. There, that's not so hard, right?
For those of you who can't keep my fantasy life straight: my husband, my boyfriend on the side, and my other boyfriend. There, that's not so hard, right?
Friday, February 18, 2005
See the Little Gray Book Lectures, live.
Next Thursday, the 24th. Do it, observe Presidents' Day, Observed.
RMV Express Lane - Thank You
I am once again a legal, fully-licensed driver:
The Requested License Renewal Transaction has been successfully processed on 02/18/2005 at 15:55:30.Thank God for that new-fangled internet!
Your renewed license will be mailed to you. If your current license has expired, you cannot legally operate a vehicle until you receive your renewed license, unless you print and carry this e-mail with you along with your expired license. The bearer of this e-mail has successfully renewed his/her Massachusetts license. The license is in good standing and is not currently expired, suspended, or revoked.
A genuine hipster from Hell...
I still can't quite believe it myself, I'm actually planning on going to see Constantine.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
dining in a tenement
I'm checking out Tenement Lounge for dinner tonight. From what I've seen on their site, it looks great. I'll let you know how it goes....
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Hey, hey, we're the Spongmonkeys!
They love the moon, they once loved the subs, and I still love them. And I'm not the only one. Seth Stevenson of Slate gets it too.
Unfortunately, Quiznos doesn't anymore. The Spongmonkeys have been fired in favor of a gruff-talking baby.
Unfortunately, Quiznos doesn't anymore. The Spongmonkeys have been fired in favor of a gruff-talking baby.
Omniscient or unreliable?
Some thoguhts on omniscient narrators, unreliable narrators, interminable death scenes, and other literary points of view.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Monday, February 14, 2005
Celebrating the age of consent
Gee, so much loving to comment on today... Send your regards to the
happy couple.
happy couple.
hearts and flowers for the internet set
My friend Robb is very funny:
roses are #FF0000
violets are #0000FF
all my base
are belong to you
Even if he didn't write it, he sent it, and he made me laugh. Happy birthday, Robb!
roses are #FF0000
violets are #0000FF
all my base
are belong to you
Even if he didn't write it, he sent it, and he made me laugh. Happy birthday, Robb!
faint of heart
Courtesy of My Yahoo!, my Daily Scorpio Forecast:
"There's only one way for sensual, sexual you to celebrate Valentine's Day -- and it doesn't involve a single cent, or a cast of thousands. Be sure you're with someone who can keep up. You're definitely not for the faint of heart."
Good thing I'm heading out with a fellow Scorpio tonight; I just hope Jodi can keep up. Also, we've already got the cast of thousands arranged, and it would be a shame to waste them.
Seriously, we're off to the free vibrator party I mentioned last Tuesday. Then we might swing by The Delancey to check out LOVE BITES, a power ballad tribute party, where the lighters are included with admission ($12).
Happy V-Day everyone!
"There's only one way for sensual, sexual you to celebrate Valentine's Day -- and it doesn't involve a single cent, or a cast of thousands. Be sure you're with someone who can keep up. You're definitely not for the faint of heart."
Good thing I'm heading out with a fellow Scorpio tonight; I just hope Jodi can keep up. Also, we've already got the cast of thousands arranged, and it would be a shame to waste them.
Seriously, we're off to the free vibrator party I mentioned last Tuesday. Then we might swing by The Delancey to check out LOVE BITES, a power ballad tribute party, where the lighters are included with admission ($12).
Happy V-Day everyone!
At The Gates
Consider it a Valentine to the city. Manhattan User's Guide devotes today's essay on how these streams of orange help heal our city. I'll have my own photos up soon.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Deep Throat, mostly the non-pornographic kind
This year marks the 30th anniversary of the Watergate break-in. Accordingly, there's been renewed speculation on the identity of Deep Throat.
That would be the informant, not the porn movie. Coincidentally, however, this week a Brian Grazier-produced documentary on the film premiered. It was a cultural benchmark, after all, when even Jackie O went to see it.
Anyway, back to the speculation. A few years ago, William Gaines, a former reporter who teaches investigative reporting at the University of Illinois, led his class in a project to decipher the riddle. The students assembled a list of candidates, contacted all who were still living (Woodward has said he will release the identity once D.T. dies, per their agreement, so from this we know that D.T is still living), and kept those who did not categorically deny it. They ended up with a list of seven possible candidates.
My favorite on that list was Pat Buchanan. I spent a lot of time with Pat up in New Hampshire in 1996, during the New Hampshire primary campaign (he even offered me a job!). Although we disagreed on absolutely everything, I found him to be a much nicer guy than you'd ever expect, and the idea that he may have brought down Nixon amused me. I also dig the fact that he would not confirm or deny, as Pat's not what you'd usually consider a man of mystery.
Recently, old 41 himself, George Herbert Walker Bush, has been floated as a possibility.
However, the latest word is that Mr. Throat is gravely ill, which means that the guessing game may soon be over. Woodward has alerted Ben Bradlee to this, and Bradlee, the only person aside from Woodstein to know the Throat's true identity, admits that he has already prepared an obituary, which includes the revelation.
Pat's been looking healthy lately, so I guess it's not him after all. Unfortuantely, our former Demon-in-Chief is also still hale and hearty, so no dice there either.
Nixon era White House counsel John Dean, himself a front-runner in many Deep Throat guessing games, and also feeling just fine of late, takes this opportunity to consider the constitutional implications of protecting sources.
Editor and Publisher is taking a more hands-on approach with: Early Returns in 'Deep Throat' Contest: Rehnquist Takes the Lead!
Place your bets soon, the clock is ticking!
That would be the informant, not the porn movie. Coincidentally, however, this week a Brian Grazier-produced documentary on the film premiered. It was a cultural benchmark, after all, when even Jackie O went to see it.
Anyway, back to the speculation. A few years ago, William Gaines, a former reporter who teaches investigative reporting at the University of Illinois, led his class in a project to decipher the riddle. The students assembled a list of candidates, contacted all who were still living (Woodward has said he will release the identity once D.T. dies, per their agreement, so from this we know that D.T is still living), and kept those who did not categorically deny it. They ended up with a list of seven possible candidates.
My favorite on that list was Pat Buchanan. I spent a lot of time with Pat up in New Hampshire in 1996, during the New Hampshire primary campaign (he even offered me a job!). Although we disagreed on absolutely everything, I found him to be a much nicer guy than you'd ever expect, and the idea that he may have brought down Nixon amused me. I also dig the fact that he would not confirm or deny, as Pat's not what you'd usually consider a man of mystery.
Recently, old 41 himself, George Herbert Walker Bush, has been floated as a possibility.
However, the latest word is that Mr. Throat is gravely ill, which means that the guessing game may soon be over. Woodward has alerted Ben Bradlee to this, and Bradlee, the only person aside from Woodstein to know the Throat's true identity, admits that he has already prepared an obituary, which includes the revelation.
Pat's been looking healthy lately, so I guess it's not him after all. Unfortuantely, our former Demon-in-Chief is also still hale and hearty, so no dice there either.
Nixon era White House counsel John Dean, himself a front-runner in many Deep Throat guessing games, and also feeling just fine of late, takes this opportunity to consider the constitutional implications of protecting sources.
Editor and Publisher is taking a more hands-on approach with: Early Returns in 'Deep Throat' Contest: Rehnquist Takes the Lead!
Place your bets soon, the clock is ticking!
broken hearted
See, it's true, you can die from a broken heart. Now I feel better for being cold and emotionless.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
you know how I love monkeys
From nonsense nyc:
Monkey C Monkey Do
We proudly welcome you and your gaggle to Monkey C Monkey Do, the first
ever pub crawl/bar parade down Avenue C with the theme of monkeys.
We're meeting up at the Sunburnt Cow (9th Street and Avenue C) where
you'll be presented with your Monkey C Card, which will assign you to a
particular type of monkey and describes how you should act ... if you
were a monkey. For one night only you are that monkey.
Also on your Monkey C Card you'll have all the key information about
destinations, times, and pub crawl game rules. Monkey C Cards will only
be given out at the event.
There will be prizes awarded for the most in theme and the best monkey
in the jungle.
Attire is casual as always but please do come socially groomed. This is
a fun event and all are welcome. We strongly encourage you to be in
theme. That said, feel free to go bananas.
We've got 5 bars signed up and prizes already secured. There will be
Monkey themed drink specials at the bars. Pretension should be checked
at the door.
Crawl begins at Sunburnt Cow
9th Street and Avenue C, Manhattan
8:30p-midnight; $free, but you pay for drinks
Monkey C Monkey Do
We proudly welcome you and your gaggle to Monkey C Monkey Do, the first
ever pub crawl/bar parade down Avenue C with the theme of monkeys.
We're meeting up at the Sunburnt Cow (9th Street and Avenue C) where
you'll be presented with your Monkey C Card, which will assign you to a
particular type of monkey and describes how you should act ... if you
were a monkey. For one night only you are that monkey.
Also on your Monkey C Card you'll have all the key information about
destinations, times, and pub crawl game rules. Monkey C Cards will only
be given out at the event.
There will be prizes awarded for the most in theme and the best monkey
in the jungle.
Attire is casual as always but please do come socially groomed. This is
a fun event and all are welcome. We strongly encourage you to be in
theme. That said, feel free to go bananas.
We've got 5 bars signed up and prizes already secured. There will be
Monkey themed drink specials at the bars. Pretension should be checked
at the door.
Crawl begins at Sunburnt Cow
9th Street and Avenue C, Manhattan
8:30p-midnight; $free, but you pay for drinks
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Bigshot photographer
My work is on the cover of 24/7 this week. Uncredited, because they suck, but that's mine right there.
Wanna bet?
As previously mentioned, I was way sick with the bronchitis for about a week.
Last Wednesday, when I was well enough to be restless after six days on the couch, but not yet well enough to go out, I called the CB and asked him to come visit and bring a movie. He is my most geographically close friend, after all. He never even called back.
Stan has admitted defeat, and has paid up on the bet well ahead of the deadline. I say, if you can't be nice to me when I'm seriously ill, that's not even a lack of romantic intent, that's just unneighborly.
Last Wednesday, when I was well enough to be restless after six days on the couch, but not yet well enough to go out, I called the CB and asked him to come visit and bring a movie. He is my most geographically close friend, after all. He never even called back.
Stan has admitted defeat, and has paid up on the bet well ahead of the deadline. I say, if you can't be nice to me when I'm seriously ill, that's not even a lack of romantic intent, that's just unneighborly.
Open Gates, and a bit of naughty
To do this weekend, details courtesy of New York Magazine:
Stroll or cycle alongside the largest artwork since the Sphinx.
The brainchild of eccentric duo Christo and Jeanne-Claude, The Gates is literally 7,500 gates hung with billowing fabric, standing 16 feet tall and spaced throughout 23 miles of Central Park pathways. The exhibit's opening coincides with Valentine's weekend and tour groups are eager to get in on the act. Official park walking tours offer their take on the project's 26-year history, prior Christos endeavors, details on the Central Park itself and a few surprisingly salacious anecdotes (who was arrested at the zoo for pinching a woman's behind?). For the more ambitious, there's a four-hour, 10-mile bike tour; for the more romantic, here's a handy map for a do-it-yourself, after-dinner stroll.
Central Park Walking Tours
• Feb. 12, 1 p.m.; 2/13, 11 a.m.
• Reservations required, call 212-721-0874; centralparkwalkingtours.com
• $17; private tours available for $25.
Then, on V-Day itself, open bar and free vibrator!
Have a "One Night Stand" at Viscaya Lounge's Sex Show.
In case it takes more than a few cocktails to get your Valentine in the mood, plan your after-hours partying at Viscaya Lounge, where the club will host The Sex Show, the first in a series of art exhibits collectively titled "One Night Stand." Paintings, videos, sculptures and other forms of artwork will be on display throughout the club for your arousal. Be sure to snag a complimentary silver bullet vibrator on your way home (not necessarily your home).
• Feb. 14, 7 p.m.-4 a.m (open bar and hors d'oeuvres 7-8 p.m.).
• Viscaya, 191 Seventh Ave., between 21st and 22nd Sts., 212-675-5980; viscayalounge.com.
• $10 (50% of proceeds go to the American Federation for AIDS Research)
Stroll or cycle alongside the largest artwork since the Sphinx.
The brainchild of eccentric duo Christo and Jeanne-Claude, The Gates is literally 7,500 gates hung with billowing fabric, standing 16 feet tall and spaced throughout 23 miles of Central Park pathways. The exhibit's opening coincides with Valentine's weekend and tour groups are eager to get in on the act. Official park walking tours offer their take on the project's 26-year history, prior Christos endeavors, details on the Central Park itself and a few surprisingly salacious anecdotes (who was arrested at the zoo for pinching a woman's behind?). For the more ambitious, there's a four-hour, 10-mile bike tour; for the more romantic, here's a handy map for a do-it-yourself, after-dinner stroll.
Central Park Walking Tours
• Feb. 12, 1 p.m.; 2/13, 11 a.m.
• Reservations required, call 212-721-0874; centralparkwalkingtours.com
• $17; private tours available for $25.
Then, on V-Day itself, open bar and free vibrator!
Have a "One Night Stand" at Viscaya Lounge's Sex Show.
In case it takes more than a few cocktails to get your Valentine in the mood, plan your after-hours partying at Viscaya Lounge, where the club will host The Sex Show, the first in a series of art exhibits collectively titled "One Night Stand." Paintings, videos, sculptures and other forms of artwork will be on display throughout the club for your arousal. Be sure to snag a complimentary silver bullet vibrator on your way home (not necessarily your home).
• Feb. 14, 7 p.m.-4 a.m (open bar and hors d'oeuvres 7-8 p.m.).
• Viscaya, 191 Seventh Ave., between 21st and 22nd Sts., 212-675-5980; viscayalounge.com.
• $10 (50% of proceeds go to the American Federation for AIDS Research)
Follow the Money
When I constantly complain about how I can't make ends meet, this is what I'm talking about. So enjoy your cleaning ladies everyone; I still won't be getting one for myself.
Since New York Times articles expire after a fortnight, here you go:
Cost of Necessities Rises in New York
By JENNIFER STEINHAUER
A red-hot real estate market, high-priced orange juice and a ceaseless array of fare increases have combined to make it harder for New Yorkers to make ends meet than at any time in a decade, according to new federal statistics.
Facing prices on necessities that are growing faster than almost anywhere else, many New Yorkers have stopped buying books, hand creams and other discretionary treats, and have sharply decreased their charitable giving in the last few years. A New York family gave nearly 30 percent less to charity on average in 2003 than in 2000, the statistics show.
Between 2000 and 2003, according to figures released on Monday by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, spending among New Yorkers rose 4.3 percent, while price inflation went up by 5.5 percent. That is the opposite pattern from most of the rest of the country, where spending went up faster than inflation.
Economists say that when inflation goes up faster than spending, it indicates that consumers find it difficult to keep up with rising prices.
"Expenditures went up less than inflation because New Yorkers allocated a large percentage of those expenditures on necessities," said Michael L. Dolfman, regional commissioner in the bureau. "Basically, New York is getting too expensive."
It is the first time that imbalance has occurred in the region in about a decade, reflecting both the national recession that hit New York harder than the rest of the nation, and New York's endless ability to outprice other cities for basic necessities.
Among the cities the department looked at, Los Angeles had the biggest increase in inflation - 5.8 percent - but spending in that city rose 10 percent, reflecting the classic economic theory that spending usually drives inflation. "What makes New York interesting is that it didn't happen that way there," Mr. Dolfman said.
In nearly every category, people in the New York region spent more of their household dollar on essentials than other Americans between 2000 and 2003. Rental prices in the region rose 8.1 percent, while nationally, they went up 4.1 percent.
Food prices rose 9.3 percent in the New York region; nationally they increased 2.7 percent.
What residents gave up were the extras. Spending on clothing fell by 12 percent, and there were also cutbacks in buying meat, poultry, eggs, and tobacco. In 2000, New Yorkers gave $1,353 per family to charity, but by 2003 that amount had fallen to $949.
Since New York Times articles expire after a fortnight, here you go:
Cost of Necessities Rises in New York
By JENNIFER STEINHAUER
A red-hot real estate market, high-priced orange juice and a ceaseless array of fare increases have combined to make it harder for New Yorkers to make ends meet than at any time in a decade, according to new federal statistics.
Facing prices on necessities that are growing faster than almost anywhere else, many New Yorkers have stopped buying books, hand creams and other discretionary treats, and have sharply decreased their charitable giving in the last few years. A New York family gave nearly 30 percent less to charity on average in 2003 than in 2000, the statistics show.
Between 2000 and 2003, according to figures released on Monday by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, spending among New Yorkers rose 4.3 percent, while price inflation went up by 5.5 percent. That is the opposite pattern from most of the rest of the country, where spending went up faster than inflation.
Economists say that when inflation goes up faster than spending, it indicates that consumers find it difficult to keep up with rising prices.
"Expenditures went up less than inflation because New Yorkers allocated a large percentage of those expenditures on necessities," said Michael L. Dolfman, regional commissioner in the bureau. "Basically, New York is getting too expensive."
It is the first time that imbalance has occurred in the region in about a decade, reflecting both the national recession that hit New York harder than the rest of the nation, and New York's endless ability to outprice other cities for basic necessities.
Among the cities the department looked at, Los Angeles had the biggest increase in inflation - 5.8 percent - but spending in that city rose 10 percent, reflecting the classic economic theory that spending usually drives inflation. "What makes New York interesting is that it didn't happen that way there," Mr. Dolfman said.
In nearly every category, people in the New York region spent more of their household dollar on essentials than other Americans between 2000 and 2003. Rental prices in the region rose 8.1 percent, while nationally, they went up 4.1 percent.
Food prices rose 9.3 percent in the New York region; nationally they increased 2.7 percent.
What residents gave up were the extras. Spending on clothing fell by 12 percent, and there were also cutbacks in buying meat, poultry, eggs, and tobacco. In 2000, New Yorkers gave $1,353 per family to charity, but by 2003 that amount had fallen to $949.
Monday, February 07, 2005
Don't be soft, man
Me, I actually prefer a little bit of hair on the chest. And I definitely believe that the mustache is making a comeback -- my boss, George Clooney, and the ultimate harbinger of style, David Bowie, all have one right now.
The Propaganda President
"And the two best ways to keep people stupid and nodding is by shutting down the information flow and by stiffing the press. At these chores, Bush excels."
The Emperor's New Hump
Lying, cheating bastard. Cowardly, too, as are the media for letting the story die.
Seriously, I feel one step closer to the regime of 1984 every day, and I don't know what to do about it. Learned helplessness.
Seriously, I feel one step closer to the regime of 1984 every day, and I don't know what to do about it. Learned helplessness.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
back among the living
I've been ill, bedridden, coughing and wheezing and suffocating. Sorry no posting, but today's the first day back in front of a computer. Jane and Deb were wonderful, bringing me soup and ice cream and meds; I love them. Dave is afraid of my germs, but he called often to make sure I was okay. Other people who knew I was sick never checked in at all, but you know, there's just not enough love in the world for me! Apparently.
In my absence, my latest and greatest project at work got some national attention. I've just rolled out new photo galleries to our affiliated sites, and OregonLive.com used the new galleries to do a feature on the ravages of crystal meth. Lots of sites, including Memepool, linked to us, and our stats for the photo section shot up to over 600,000 hits a day! Pity when you link directly to a gallery, as these sites did, you can't really see the elegance of my design, but if you follow the direct link to the story and pop the gallery from there, it should look right.
Dying, going home. More tomorrow. Disinfected kisses.
In my absence, my latest and greatest project at work got some national attention. I've just rolled out new photo galleries to our affiliated sites, and OregonLive.com used the new galleries to do a feature on the ravages of crystal meth. Lots of sites, including Memepool, linked to us, and our stats for the photo section shot up to over 600,000 hits a day! Pity when you link directly to a gallery, as these sites did, you can't really see the elegance of my design, but if you follow the direct link to the story and pop the gallery from there, it should look right.
Dying, going home. More tomorrow. Disinfected kisses.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Safe, Legal, and Never
Hillary's got it dead on when it comes to the abortion debate. For years, I've been so angry with both sides -- one refuses to admit that abortion ends a life, and therefore is a terrible thing to have to do and should not be discussed as glibly as buying a pint of milk. The other side won't be realistic and acknowledge that if you don't want abortions to happen, then you have to do something to make them unneeded, like maybe sex education and accessible birth control.
This is not rocket science, people.
I love Hillary. She's got it exactly right, and she's got the stats and the rhetoric to shut up any opposition. Can we please have her for president in four years?
This is not rocket science, people.
I love Hillary. She's got it exactly right, and she's got the stats and the rhetoric to shut up any opposition. Can we please have her for president in four years?
Some kind of muse
This Saturday is the oft-mentioned gig for which CB let me pick the setlist. He'll also be inflicting Miracle Baby, the song you may have heard at my birthday party, on the unsuspecting public, so maybe letting me pick my faves will make up for my MB embarassment.
Come on down to Freddy's and see what all the fuss is about. Of course, I'm dying of sudden onset severe flu (serves me right), so I might not actually be there to enjoy my dotage, but if you go you can tell me all about it! (bring soup, please!)
The All-Request Hour
featuring songs both new and old!
all about heartbreak and drinking!
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Freddy's Bar & Backroom
485 Dean Street, at 6th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY
no cover!
Directions to Fred's go here.
Come on down to Freddy's and see what all the fuss is about. Of course, I'm dying of sudden onset severe flu (serves me right), so I might not actually be there to enjoy my dotage, but if you go you can tell me all about it! (bring soup, please!)
The All-Request Hour
featuring songs both new and old!
all about heartbreak and drinking!
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Freddy's Bar & Backroom
485 Dean Street, at 6th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY
no cover!
Directions to Fred's go here.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Lord of the Romulans
"Oh, and Merry and Pippen ride around in a tree for an hour. But, so what? Before Jackson got involved, the only people who cared about this crap were dudes who could speak Klingon. Now, my ophthalmologist is just as into it as any Romulan sub-commander."
The best LoTR review ever.
The best LoTR review ever.
~*~ Secret Diaries of Middle Earth~*~
While we're looking back at the glory days of the LotR trilogy, let's not forget these brilliantly funny diaries.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Signed, sealed, delivered
Today I told Stan that CB is having a show of all my favorite songs this weekend, and so I have to stay in town to see it, and I can't go back to London as he suggested.
Stan: This is the guy you hung out with until four in the morning, and nothing happened?
Me: Three in the morning, but yeah.
Stan: And you still think he's not interested?
Me: Of course he's not. I've moved on.
Stan: A guy doesn't do something like this unless he's interested. I'll bet you that you two will hook up within a month.
Me: It's not going to happen. Anyway, he'll be out of town.
Stan: Fine, 45 days. Bet me.
Me: No.
Stan: Bet me a dollar.
Me: NO.
Stan: Come on! See, you guys are so totally about to hook up!
So fine, I bet him a dollar that CB and I will not hook up in the next 45 days. Here it is in writing to make it official.
Yes, I'm fully aware that I keep writing about all these boys, but never get any action with any of them. Maybe I need to sign up for Aphrodisiac of The Month.
Update, Jan. 27: CB's not going out of town after all, so the term of the bet is back down to 30 days. And Stan's finally realizing he's probably going to lose, for many reasons including that I ask CB for advice about other guys, which is apparently a Bad Move.
Stan: This is the guy you hung out with until four in the morning, and nothing happened?
Me: Three in the morning, but yeah.
Stan: And you still think he's not interested?
Me: Of course he's not. I've moved on.
Stan: A guy doesn't do something like this unless he's interested. I'll bet you that you two will hook up within a month.
Me: It's not going to happen. Anyway, he'll be out of town.
Stan: Fine, 45 days. Bet me.
Me: No.
Stan: Bet me a dollar.
Me: NO.
Stan: Come on! See, you guys are so totally about to hook up!
So fine, I bet him a dollar that CB and I will not hook up in the next 45 days. Here it is in writing to make it official.
Yes, I'm fully aware that I keep writing about all these boys, but never get any action with any of them. Maybe I need to sign up for Aphrodisiac of The Month.
Update, Jan. 27: CB's not going out of town after all, so the term of the bet is back down to 30 days. And Stan's finally realizing he's probably going to lose, for many reasons including that I ask CB for advice about other guys, which is apparently a Bad Move.
Friends and relations
Did you miss me? I'm back from my London weekend. Saw two old friends from Smith, admired one's baby and the other's engagement ring, took in a bit of culture, and filled a suitcase with the much-sought potato crisps.
But the bulk of the weekend was spent with two great guys. One is tall, dark, responsible and upstanding; the other is devilishly charming and attentive. One fed me well and did my laundry; the other bought me cigarettes and cheeky underwear. Of course, both are stunningly handsome. Honestly, how is a girl supposed to choose?
So I didn't. Come on, this is me, you know nothing happened with either one.
But the bulk of the weekend was spent with two great guys. One is tall, dark, responsible and upstanding; the other is devilishly charming and attentive. One fed me well and did my laundry; the other bought me cigarettes and cheeky underwear. Of course, both are stunningly handsome. Honestly, how is a girl supposed to choose?
So I didn't. Come on, this is me, you know nothing happened with either one.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
London Calling
I'm off to London. Wish I could chat more, but I'm running so late, I've barely even packed! Though I did remember to pack an extra bag to bring back plenty of Chargrilled Steak & Peppercorn Sauce-flavoured crisps (how's my Brit-ness?)
I'll try to blog while I'm there, to keep you all informed on my adventures, and I promise to take scads of pictures. Cheerio!
I'll try to blog while I'm there, to keep you all informed on my adventures, and I promise to take scads of pictures. Cheerio!
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
A Gallo is just an Italian cock, after all
Indulgent SoHo chocolatier Vosges has discontinued the Vincent Gallo truffle collection, or rather, renamed it the Collection Italiano. The eponymous, taleggio cheese-flavored, uncircumcised penis-shaped Gallo has become the Rooster, and the collection's other truffle flavors -- Tuscan fennel pollen, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, Sicilian sea salt -- have been translated in the other direction.
When asked why the name had been changed, a Vosges representative stated only that "We have ended our relationship with Mr. Gallo." Which, when you think about it, is the best choice in all sorts of situations.
When asked why the name had been changed, a Vosges representative stated only that "We have ended our relationship with Mr. Gallo." Which, when you think about it, is the best choice in all sorts of situations.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
What happened?
I'm really broken up about the whole Brad and Jen thing. Today, I finally got out to the drugstore to buy US and People's special editions. After all, I indulge so rarely.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Wisdom in e-mail
I got one of those chain e-mails today, but the message it contained was pretty cool. So if I post it here, then you don't have to e-mail it to everyone you know to avoid bad luck. You can just read and enjoy the wise thoughts. Thanks, Maria!
Lotus Totus
Lotus Totus
- ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
- TWO. Marry someone you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
- THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
- FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
- FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
- SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
- SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
- EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
- NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
- TEN In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
- ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
- TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
- THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
- FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
- FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
- SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
- SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
- EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
- NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
- TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
- TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
The problem with being a stubborn Luddite
...and refusing to have a computer at home, is that when you have a great thought for a blog post while you're brushing your teeth, you may very well forget it by the time you get to work. And then you spend all day with that gnawing feeling of forgetfulness, and you end up talking to your co-workers about boy trouble, which is never a good idea.
Who was Harvey Wallbanger, anyway?
Idle thoughts, late in the day. Better than obsessing over boys, at least.
Monday, January 10, 2005
not just my subconscious
Freaky. Right after I posted that last entry, thinking of BG, I couldn't remember where he works.
Just then, my inbox bings with a daily message from New York magazine's Best Bets, and it's mentioned right there, complete with a link to the website!
Is the universe trying to tell me something? Or maybe do I have a mind-reading fairy godmother at New York?
Update: A little pop psychology over IM later, and I've concluded that the whole thing, dream and follow-up, was a response to my efforts to loosen up in 2005. I associate my wilder New York days with the club kids, so my dream was probably just about trying to go back to those times. Why BG? Maybe because he was my favorite, and I always thought he found a good balance between wild and responsible.
Just then, my inbox bings with a daily message from New York magazine's Best Bets, and it's mentioned right there, complete with a link to the website!
Is the universe trying to tell me something? Or maybe do I have a mind-reading fairy godmother at New York?
Update: A little pop psychology over IM later, and I've concluded that the whole thing, dream and follow-up, was a response to my efforts to loosen up in 2005. I associate my wilder New York days with the club kids, so my dream was probably just about trying to go back to those times. Why BG? Maybe because he was my favorite, and I always thought he found a good balance between wild and responsible.
the subconscious speaks
Sunday morning, I dreamt of the club kids, with whom I haven't hung out in almost two years. There was some huge party, possibly at the apartment where we drank bag wine at the White Trash Party (for good or bad, I had nothing to wear). Then it may have devolved into an orgy, or that may have just been Big Guns Boy and me. Regardless, I awoke really wanting BG. Of course, I would never sleep with a married man, but a lot can happen in two years, so maybe that's no longer an issue.
I wish there were some way of checking on a person's relationship status, like you can look up their phone number. After all, had I known the 22-year-old had broken up with his girly-crush, I would have gotten back in touch much sooner.
I wish there were some way of checking on a person's relationship status, like you can look up their phone number. After all, had I known the 22-year-old had broken up with his girly-crush, I would have gotten back in touch much sooner.
Receding waters
Here's an excellent set of before and after photos of the tsunami damage in Sri Lanka and Indonesia.
Friday, January 07, 2005
Finally, a ray of hope for Andrea
Andrea Yates has been granted a new trial. I never understood how anyone in their right mind could have convicted her -- personally I thought her husband deserved the legal actions. Turned out the jury had been lied to. The prosecution's psyc witness purjured himself and said that Andrea saw the drowning on Law and Order and got ideas from it. That would make me believe in premeditation as well!
Let's hope that this time around she gets a fair shake, and that they take her husband in for spousal abuse and sadism.
Let's hope that this time around she gets a fair shake, and that they take her husband in for spousal abuse and sadism.
Lucky Enrique
Gawker ponders why NYC tabs dropped the ball on this photo of La Kournikova, which is totally NOT work safe.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
for the record...
Last night I came home at a reasonable hour, immediately got ready for bed, and went to bed, do not pass couch, do not collect $200.
I only had one whiskey and two smokes, and I slept at least seven hours, in my bed, with the mouthguard in.
I took the train to work, did not drive in, and got here very close to on time.
And yet, despite all those good efforts and reslutions kept, I still felt like crap all day. massive headache. It took advil *plus* two cups of coffee to beat it into submission. I'm going to the gym (another resolution success!) to try to sweat it out. Then off to the Hootenany...
I only had one whiskey and two smokes, and I slept at least seven hours, in my bed, with the mouthguard in.
I took the train to work, did not drive in, and got here very close to on time.
And yet, despite all those good efforts and reslutions kept, I still felt like crap all day. massive headache. It took advil *plus* two cups of coffee to beat it into submission. I'm going to the gym (another resolution success!) to try to sweat it out. Then off to the Hootenany...
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Regularly Scheduled
If you're looking for me...
Weekend: In Boston, but you should all go to Lillie's and drink for me.
Monday, January 10: Attention all Rockstars! It's Dr. Fact's first anniversary, and we must make a good showing! I have to do my shift at the coop -- having missed the last two and put on double-evil suspension, I can't miss this month's. I'll come by the Buttermilk after my shift, around 11.
Until then Alex, who has so graciously rescheduled his monthly Poetry Night just for us and the greater trivial good, will be manning the helm. Do me proud.
Weekend: In Boston, but you should all go to Lillie's and drink for me.
Monday, January 10: Attention all Rockstars! It's Dr. Fact's first anniversary, and we must make a good showing! I have to do my shift at the coop -- having missed the last two and put on double-evil suspension, I can't miss this month's. I'll come by the Buttermilk after my shift, around 11.
Until then Alex, who has so graciously rescheduled his monthly Poetry Night just for us and the greater trivial good, will be manning the helm. Do me proud.
Stop me oh oh oh stop me...
This morning, only the fifth morning of the year, I woke up
1. on the couch -- resolution failure rate 40%
2. at 9:00 am, when I should be leaving for work -- on-time failure rate 60%
3. fully dressed, contacts in, uncharged cellphone, unbrushed teeth, no mouthguard, unwashed face -- nothing to do with any resolutions, as I usually manage to get fully ready for bed and then still fall asleep on the couch
4. with eye makeup still on -- resolution success rate 90%!
5. having drunk three Jamesons on the rocks last night -- success rate 50%
6. and smoked one cigarette -- failure rate 100%, in fact it seems to be inspiring me
Although the bed-head was very cute, it was full of massage oil, and that wasn't going to fly at work. So I had to wash it, which took time, which meant
7. I drove into work today -- failure rate 40%
Last night, I went to Exhale for a Fusion Massage. It was possibly the best massage I've ever gotten, except maybe for the Russian in Cambridge years ago. I also bought a yoga mat, and soy candles, and picked up some sushi at Whole Foods, and had every intention of going home, washing the last of the New Years dishes (I know, I know), and getting to bed all early and healthy.
Instead, 80sDave and I went to Buttermilk (someone make those folks a half-decent website of their own, please). Three whiskeys and a bummed smoke later, I'd undone all the good of my visit (and sleeping on the couch was the nail in that coffin). The country boy decided it's okay if I think the cowboy's hot, since he's a rock star and all. Don't worry, baby, I still love you best. I just have to find someone who's not afraid to sleep with me, is all.
Jukebox playlist, just for Dave:
Don't Fear the Reaper
Ain't that a Kick in the Head
Break My Body
Just Like Heaven
Future 40s
Pablo Picasso
Ever Fallen in Love
and I'm missing one, if you remember, Dave?
1. on the couch -- resolution failure rate 40%
2. at 9:00 am, when I should be leaving for work -- on-time failure rate 60%
3. fully dressed, contacts in, uncharged cellphone, unbrushed teeth, no mouthguard, unwashed face -- nothing to do with any resolutions, as I usually manage to get fully ready for bed and then still fall asleep on the couch
4. with eye makeup still on -- resolution success rate 90%!
5. having drunk three Jamesons on the rocks last night -- success rate 50%
6. and smoked one cigarette -- failure rate 100%, in fact it seems to be inspiring me
Although the bed-head was very cute, it was full of massage oil, and that wasn't going to fly at work. So I had to wash it, which took time, which meant
7. I drove into work today -- failure rate 40%
Last night, I went to Exhale for a Fusion Massage. It was possibly the best massage I've ever gotten, except maybe for the Russian in Cambridge years ago. I also bought a yoga mat, and soy candles, and picked up some sushi at Whole Foods, and had every intention of going home, washing the last of the New Years dishes (I know, I know), and getting to bed all early and healthy.
Instead, 80sDave and I went to Buttermilk (someone make those folks a half-decent website of their own, please). Three whiskeys and a bummed smoke later, I'd undone all the good of my visit (and sleeping on the couch was the nail in that coffin). The country boy decided it's okay if I think the cowboy's hot, since he's a rock star and all. Don't worry, baby, I still love you best. I just have to find someone who's not afraid to sleep with me, is all.
Jukebox playlist, just for Dave:
Don't Fear the Reaper
Ain't that a Kick in the Head
Break My Body
Just Like Heaven
Future 40s
Pablo Picasso
Ever Fallen in Love
and I'm missing one, if you remember, Dave?
Monday, January 03, 2005
more or less
In addition to More Drinking, Less Driving, I seem to have also resolved to blog more this year (lucky you!). I think it's just because I finally got the hang of that little Insta-Blog button I installed on my toolbar who knows how long ago. I mean, I haven't even told you about the weekend shenanegans, nor about Denise's wedding LAST week!
Eh, whatever. To everything there is a season.
More of:
blogging
writing
honesty
boys
whiskey
dancing
going to bed at a reasonable hour (possibly difficult re: the last three list items)
getting to work reasonably on time
trips to the gym
new job
salary
organization
eye makeup
Less of:
negativity
self-doubt
size of my ass
sleeping on the couch
smoking
pouting
belittling gossip
criticism
Basically, I want to get back to being the fabulous woman I used to be before I came to New York. Shouldn't be too tough, right?
I'll fill you in on the weekend's gossip soon, promise. Right now I'm still downloading the photo evidence.
Eh, whatever. To everything there is a season.
More of:
blogging
writing
honesty
boys
whiskey
dancing
going to bed at a reasonable hour (possibly difficult re: the last three list items)
getting to work reasonably on time
trips to the gym
new job
salary
organization
eye makeup
Less of:
negativity
self-doubt
size of my ass
sleeping on the couch
smoking
pouting
belittling gossip
criticism
Basically, I want to get back to being the fabulous woman I used to be before I came to New York. Shouldn't be too tough, right?
I'll fill you in on the weekend's gossip soon, promise. Right now I'm still downloading the photo evidence.
hot braided cowboy
Here's a video clip of the boy I met this past weekend. The website sucks, but at least you can see how cute he is.
New York state of mind
Hmm, I think this song title thing is already getting old....
I've got dating issues. We all know this. Heck, we all discussed it ad nauseum all weekend, which is the bonus prize for getting me drunk. Still, it's nice to hear that others agree with me on the state of Dating in New York.
Maybe Brooklyn is another story?
I've got dating issues. We all know this. Heck, we all discussed it ad nauseum all weekend, which is the bonus prize for getting me drunk. Still, it's nice to hear that others agree with me on the state of Dating in New York.
Maybe Brooklyn is another story?
Baby you can drive my car
I'm going to make an effort in 2005 to label all of my posts with song titles. It's something we used to do on the old Maggie columns on Enormous Fun.
As I got to the end of these directions, my heart did a little leap, and I thought "How sweet!" But that's the very problem with the country boy; you can never tell. Maybe he's being sweet, or maybe he's poking fun. I don't understand his point anyway, as there are no directions from Manhattan anywhere on the page. (And if you're wondering what he'd be teasing me about, that would be it -- my nitpicky tendencies.)
Anyway, were I to go to Lillie's this weekend, there's no way I'd drive. Another effort I seem to be making (at least so far) in 2005 is More Drinking, Less Driving.
As I got to the end of these directions, my heart did a little leap, and I thought "How sweet!" But that's the very problem with the country boy; you can never tell. Maybe he's being sweet, or maybe he's poking fun. I don't understand his point anyway, as there are no directions from Manhattan anywhere on the page. (And if you're wondering what he'd be teasing me about, that would be it -- my nitpicky tendencies.)
Anyway, were I to go to Lillie's this weekend, there's no way I'd drive. Another effort I seem to be making (at least so far) in 2005 is More Drinking, Less Driving.
"It's food like this that makes eating a habit!"
Ah, that Lileks, so brilliant with the regrettable food. (And if you're wondering why we should care what Sam Cowling ate, he was a singer/comedian in the 40s.)
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
A gym master in total
Hysterical review of the Total Gym infomercial with Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
surprisingly, a calming effect...
Me: I'm definitely going to come by after the office party
Me: I can't believe you guys are moving tomorrow
C: cool!
Me: you're crazy
C: yes
C: it's too much to deal with; I'm going nuts
Me: hey, at least half your family isn't in and out of the hospital. It could be worse
Me: I haven't sent christmas cards yet; I feel very guilty
C: ug. that's literally the LAST thing on my mind
Me: well, considering everything that's going on
Me: and, since my mother is convinced that my grandmother won't make it until christmas, you want to get stuff out to her as soon as possible, you know?
C: wow
Me: you do know everything that's going on, right?
C: sorry, no
Me: (Insert summary of all the stuff you've already read about below, which C had missed while he was buying a HOUSE in the SUBURBS!)
C: well, I had the most terrifying experience of my life two days ago, but it's completely inconsequential and crass compared to these troubles
Me: no, no, no
Me: my family shit does not diminish your stuff. I tell you so you know, not to make you feel guilty or sorry for me
C: it really does, I've been getting so stressed and terrified, you're really actually calming me down telling me this stuff
Me: terrified? what's up?
C: you wouldn't believe it.
Me: well, I'm glad to know that
C: so I go to the bank to get 10K in certified checks for the closing.....
Me: right
C: (as any good story starts...)
Me: hee
Me: it was a dark and stormy bank
C: yes
C: then, on the way home, I see some boxes
C: boxes! I say
Me: yay, free packing materials!
C: that's good, I need some boxes!
Me: I did that when I moved, went to office buildings and got empty computer boxes
C: that's totally how we're doing this
Me: it's the best way
C: so I pick up the boxes and go on my merry way home
C: I get home
C: throw down the boxes
C: go to the computer
C: and, wait,
C: hang on...
C: where are the 10K in checks?
Me: arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C: ("boxes!")
C: new rule: when carrying around $10,000... FOCUS.
Me: oh, dear god
Me: where did you leave them?
C: you don't want to hear the play by play of my twenty minutes of SHEER TERROR?
Me: yes, yes I do
C: the tearing apart of the apartment?
Me: but I don't want to actually FEEL the terror, as I can't take it right now
Me: so I want to take a peek at the last page first
C: the retracing of the steps back to the grocery store?
C: heh
C: it all ends fine, at least in this universe
Me: you know, buying your first home is indeed one of the most stressful things you can do. a major purchase like that throws all your systems into overdrive
C: so I look in the boxes for the fourth time
C: about to call the cops or something
C: first time- shook the box
C: 2nd time- looked in the boxes
C: 3rd time- physically felt through the boxes
C: so you can imagine the level of SHEER TERROR at this point
Me: yes, I'm feeling it
Me: you tell a good story
C: thanks
C: it's so hard to get people to sit still and listen
Me: hee
C: anyway,
C: fourth time, I'm unfolding all the flaps and shit, ready to take them apart
C: and
C: voila
Me: stuck in a flap?!
C: bingo
Me: C, I hate to say this
Me: but don't you have pockets? or a messenger bag or something?
C: I'm a ditz, I know
C: I had them in a nice folder!
C: I thought I was being all professional!
Me: hee
Me: that's what you get for trying to be professional!
C: indeed
Me: next thing I know, you'll go and cut your hair or something crazy like that
Me: I can't take it, C
Me: please don't tell me you're not drinking tonight so you won't have a hangover for the move tomorrow!
C: hahahaha, no
C: I'll probably still be drunk for the move
Me: good idea
Me: I can't believe you guys are moving tomorrow
C: cool!
Me: you're crazy
C: yes
C: it's too much to deal with; I'm going nuts
Me: hey, at least half your family isn't in and out of the hospital. It could be worse
Me: I haven't sent christmas cards yet; I feel very guilty
C: ug. that's literally the LAST thing on my mind
Me: well, considering everything that's going on
Me: and, since my mother is convinced that my grandmother won't make it until christmas, you want to get stuff out to her as soon as possible, you know?
C: wow
Me: you do know everything that's going on, right?
C: sorry, no
Me: (Insert summary of all the stuff you've already read about below, which C had missed while he was buying a HOUSE in the SUBURBS!)
C: well, I had the most terrifying experience of my life two days ago, but it's completely inconsequential and crass compared to these troubles
Me: no, no, no
Me: my family shit does not diminish your stuff. I tell you so you know, not to make you feel guilty or sorry for me
C: it really does, I've been getting so stressed and terrified, you're really actually calming me down telling me this stuff
Me: terrified? what's up?
C: you wouldn't believe it.
Me: well, I'm glad to know that
C: so I go to the bank to get 10K in certified checks for the closing.....
Me: right
C: (as any good story starts...)
Me: hee
Me: it was a dark and stormy bank
C: yes
C: then, on the way home, I see some boxes
C: boxes! I say
Me: yay, free packing materials!
C: that's good, I need some boxes!
Me: I did that when I moved, went to office buildings and got empty computer boxes
C: that's totally how we're doing this
Me: it's the best way
C: so I pick up the boxes and go on my merry way home
C: I get home
C: throw down the boxes
C: go to the computer
C: and, wait,
C: hang on...
C: where are the 10K in checks?
Me: arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C: ("boxes!")
C: new rule: when carrying around $10,000... FOCUS.
Me: oh, dear god
Me: where did you leave them?
C: you don't want to hear the play by play of my twenty minutes of SHEER TERROR?
Me: yes, yes I do
C: the tearing apart of the apartment?
Me: but I don't want to actually FEEL the terror, as I can't take it right now
Me: so I want to take a peek at the last page first
C: the retracing of the steps back to the grocery store?
C: heh
C: it all ends fine, at least in this universe
Me: you know, buying your first home is indeed one of the most stressful things you can do. a major purchase like that throws all your systems into overdrive
C: so I look in the boxes for the fourth time
C: about to call the cops or something
C: first time- shook the box
C: 2nd time- looked in the boxes
C: 3rd time- physically felt through the boxes
C: so you can imagine the level of SHEER TERROR at this point
Me: yes, I'm feeling it
Me: you tell a good story
C: thanks
C: it's so hard to get people to sit still and listen
Me: hee
C: anyway,
C: fourth time, I'm unfolding all the flaps and shit, ready to take them apart
C: and
C: voila
Me: stuck in a flap?!
C: bingo
Me: C, I hate to say this
Me: but don't you have pockets? or a messenger bag or something?
C: I'm a ditz, I know
C: I had them in a nice folder!
C: I thought I was being all professional!
Me: hee
Me: that's what you get for trying to be professional!
C: indeed
Me: next thing I know, you'll go and cut your hair or something crazy like that
Me: I can't take it, C
Me: please don't tell me you're not drinking tonight so you won't have a hangover for the move tomorrow!
C: hahahaha, no
C: I'll probably still be drunk for the move
Me: good idea
Monday, December 13, 2004
The Silver Lining
I'm not calling the family situation Cancerpalooza anymore, since it's gone way beyond cancer at this point. Suggestions welcome.
When I last updated my faithful readers, Mum was going in for her second surgery, and I was leaving on a jet plane for Chicago. Here's the latest:
Mum is having a rough time recovering from the second surgery. In the end it was, surprisingly, more invasive than the first, and they found a tangerine-sized fibroid tumor while they were in there. But they've tested everything again, and she has been declared cancer-free! Also, when they tested her ovaries, they found that her o's have been producing too much estrogen her whole life, which can (and did) cause endometrial cancer, which can (and did) cause fertility problems (hello Miracle Baby!), and which can, but hopefully will not, slightly increase the risk for breast cancer. They're gone now, so they'd better stop with the mischief!
Dad had to have a cardioversion on December 7 to shock his heart into a regular rhythm. This caused him to go into congestive heart failure on the 9th. He went to the ER, spent a few days in the hospital, got one of his meds switched. Now he's in this oddly unstable condition until they figure out the proper dosage of the new meds, which leaves him with fluctuating blood pressure and other unsettling feelings. AND he can't travel while they're observing him, so the Christmas trip to Chicago is off. Thank God, because I really didn't want them travelling while Mum was recovering, but she felt obligated. Now the choice is taken out of their hands. And as a bonus, they get to go to Denise's wedding! Mum would never choose the wedding over her parents, but I know she'd been disappointed to miss it.
Nonna was released from the hospital and sent home, where they'd set up a hospital bed in the dining room and hired a day nurse. On Friday, December 10th, while Mum was out picking Dad up to bring him home from the cardiac unit, my uncle calls her to say that he's driving from the office to the hospital, but he doesn't think he'll make it there before Nonna dies.
Right.
Just what Mum needs, right?
And I got out of a meeting to find a similar message on my voice mail.
Nonna had been vomiting and delirious, and she couldn't breathe. The nurse thought it was really bad, and she was rushed to the ER. Turns out she had a pulmonary blood clot, which they're treating. She's still in the hospital, and should be home again soon.
And my uncle told my poor mother, as if she doesn't have enough to deal with, that now that she's not coming to Chicago until December 28th, he doesn't think he'll be able to take it, and he's going to have a nervous breakdown.
Right.
How DARE he?!?! She doesn't have enough to deal with? It's not like she's going on vacation instead of coming out to help. Anyway, for years she's been trying to get my grandparents to move to Boston and live with her, so she could help take care of them, and they've always refused beause they like their freedom and their own space. In fact, my grandfather wants her to buy a condo near him and move to Chicago to help him out, as long as she doesn't live with him and cramp his style.
Can you imagine? If this is the family she came from, it's a miracle my mother is anywhere in the general vicinity of sane.
I told my mother to bring Dad's medical records with her when they go to Chicago after Christmas, so that if anyone questions her reasons for not coming sooner she can rub them in their faces. Also, I reminded her that when Dad's mother was in and out of the hospital during her final months, he had a heart attack. So if her brother ever brings up the threat of nervous collapse again, she should mention dad's heart attack. So he has something to strive for.
When I last updated my faithful readers, Mum was going in for her second surgery, and I was leaving on a jet plane for Chicago. Here's the latest:
Mum is having a rough time recovering from the second surgery. In the end it was, surprisingly, more invasive than the first, and they found a tangerine-sized fibroid tumor while they were in there. But they've tested everything again, and she has been declared cancer-free! Also, when they tested her ovaries, they found that her o's have been producing too much estrogen her whole life, which can (and did) cause endometrial cancer, which can (and did) cause fertility problems (hello Miracle Baby!), and which can, but hopefully will not, slightly increase the risk for breast cancer. They're gone now, so they'd better stop with the mischief!
Dad had to have a cardioversion on December 7 to shock his heart into a regular rhythm. This caused him to go into congestive heart failure on the 9th. He went to the ER, spent a few days in the hospital, got one of his meds switched. Now he's in this oddly unstable condition until they figure out the proper dosage of the new meds, which leaves him with fluctuating blood pressure and other unsettling feelings. AND he can't travel while they're observing him, so the Christmas trip to Chicago is off. Thank God, because I really didn't want them travelling while Mum was recovering, but she felt obligated. Now the choice is taken out of their hands. And as a bonus, they get to go to Denise's wedding! Mum would never choose the wedding over her parents, but I know she'd been disappointed to miss it.
Nonna was released from the hospital and sent home, where they'd set up a hospital bed in the dining room and hired a day nurse. On Friday, December 10th, while Mum was out picking Dad up to bring him home from the cardiac unit, my uncle calls her to say that he's driving from the office to the hospital, but he doesn't think he'll make it there before Nonna dies.
Right.
Just what Mum needs, right?
And I got out of a meeting to find a similar message on my voice mail.
Nonna had been vomiting and delirious, and she couldn't breathe. The nurse thought it was really bad, and she was rushed to the ER. Turns out she had a pulmonary blood clot, which they're treating. She's still in the hospital, and should be home again soon.
And my uncle told my poor mother, as if she doesn't have enough to deal with, that now that she's not coming to Chicago until December 28th, he doesn't think he'll be able to take it, and he's going to have a nervous breakdown.
Right.
How DARE he?!?! She doesn't have enough to deal with? It's not like she's going on vacation instead of coming out to help. Anyway, for years she's been trying to get my grandparents to move to Boston and live with her, so she could help take care of them, and they've always refused beause they like their freedom and their own space. In fact, my grandfather wants her to buy a condo near him and move to Chicago to help him out, as long as she doesn't live with him and cramp his style.
Can you imagine? If this is the family she came from, it's a miracle my mother is anywhere in the general vicinity of sane.
I told my mother to bring Dad's medical records with her when they go to Chicago after Christmas, so that if anyone questions her reasons for not coming sooner she can rub them in their faces. Also, I reminded her that when Dad's mother was in and out of the hospital during her final months, he had a heart attack. So if her brother ever brings up the threat of nervous collapse again, she should mention dad's heart attack. So he has something to strive for.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
And she rocks, too
Last night I checked out Jodi's gig at the Bitter End. She did this hilarious rif on He's Just Not That Into You, putting four songs together as a four-act play of love and loss, punctuated with quotes from the book.
watching her on stage, I noticed something else. About 15 or so years ago, long before we'd met, Jo and I probably had fairly similar bodies -- type, size, height, etc. Except I couldn't manage to keep mine until 30, and she's looking better than ever at... Well, I'll leave it to her to tell you, because you'd never guess from looking at her. The girl would be smoking at half her age!
watching her on stage, I noticed something else. About 15 or so years ago, long before we'd met, Jo and I probably had fairly similar bodies -- type, size, height, etc. Except I couldn't manage to keep mine until 30, and she's looking better than ever at... Well, I'll leave it to her to tell you, because you'd never guess from looking at her. The girl would be smoking at half her age!
Monday, December 06, 2004
...Man Alive
Jude Law has a disproportionately large head. Regardless, please go see Closer as soon as possible. Jude's character is more whiny brat than sexiest man alive, but Clive Owen makes up for it, and you hate yourself for wanting him even when he's all nasty and smarmy. Dave and I sat in the theater long after the credits were done, jaws still hanging kind of low. Many of the reviews I've read say that the relationships are twisted. Well, maybe I'm messed up then, but I thought it was a very honest portrayal of how people really do feel. Honest in a way that not only movies never show, but people don't want to admit to themselves.
And Julia Roberts was the most sympathetic I've ever seen her in any film. I've never bought her sweetheart shtick; I've found most of her characters to be cold and selfish. But here, she keeps trying to do the right thing, she's torn and conflicted, and you really feel for her. She was the most breathtakingly beautiful I've ever seen her, as well.
And Julia Roberts was the most sympathetic I've ever seen her in any film. I've never bought her sweetheart shtick; I've found most of her characters to be cold and selfish. But here, she keeps trying to do the right thing, she's torn and conflicted, and you really feel for her. She was the most breathtakingly beautiful I've ever seen her, as well.
not enough blarney...
once upon a time, long ago and far away, I went to Dublin and took some pictures. They're finally up online. I was going to blog every day, and keep a detailed record of all the wonderful things I did and learned and saw. But I never did that; I am a bad blogger. If you have any questions about the photos, though, I'd be happy to expound.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
On the plus side...
Our team, Schoolhouse Rockstars, won Trivia Night on Monday, to the tune of $260, that's $65 for each of us. All the erstwhile teammates who couldn't be bothered to show up, or thought Brooklyn was "too far away" are sorry now...
Cancerpalooza 2004 North American Tour
Having told this story several times in the past few days, I realized that most of you have no idea what's going on with my family. So here's a rough chronological review...
End of September, Mum has a hysterectomy.
A few days before the surgery, Nonna (Mum's mum, in Chicago) falls down, breaks her arm, and is admitted into the hospital.
A few days after that, Nonno (Mum's dad, also in Chicago) totals his car. He's unharmed, and amazed by the wonder of airbags.
Back to Nonna in the hospital -- she tells the doctors that she fell because she can't walk, because she can't feel her feet. They can't find anything wrong with her, and label her a difficult and uncooperative patient, because of course an 87-year-old woman couldn't possibly actually HAVE something wrong with her that they haven't found yet, right?
Nonna keeps insisting there's something wrong (good for her), they do a CAT scan, and find two pinched discs in her back. However, surgery would be too risky, because she's on blood thinners for one thing, so they decide to try to treat it with physical therapy instead.
In October, Mum finds out that they found early-stage endometrial cancer in her removed uterus (this is not why she had the hysterectomy; this is a bonus surprise). As the organ's already out, and it was caught early, her risk is minimal. Still, Mum and the docs decide to remove her ovaries as well, just to be safe, as if it had spread, that's where it would have gone. Mum wants the surgery done immediately, but she's still recovering from the last one, so they schedule a laproscopic procedure for November 19th.
Back in Chicago, Nonna's not being released from the hospital, because they have to figure out what kind of care she'll have at home. While she's there, they find out she's got colorectal cancer. Again, they can't operate, but they're trying to treat it.
And Nonno is turning 90 on November 20th, and we were all supposed to head out to Chicago to celebrate, and stay through Thanksgiving. But now he doesn't want to celebrate while Nonna's in the hospital, and Mum's surgery is the day before, so that plan is off.
Instead, I'm heading out to Chicago from the 20th to the 22nd, just to hang out and keep him company for a few days. Mum would rather I were with him than with her, since I'll see her a few days later anyway.
These are my Cancerpalooza tour dates:
November 12-14 -- Up in Boston to visit with Mum pre-surgery. I will also be leaving the cat up there with her, because she has requested an extended visit with Siena to cheer her up. I'll miss her, but she likes visiting with her grandparents, and I'll get her back at Thanksgiving.
November 20-22 -- In Chicago to visit Nonna and hang out with Nonno, drive him around (since he no longer has a car), but under no circumstances celebrate anything.
November 24-28 -- Back in Boston for Thanksgiving, and to attend to post-operative Mum. And reclaim my baby monkey.
On top of all this, I have a monstrous head cold, Siena was vomiting and is now suffering through a week of special bland food, and I still don't have a date for Denise's wedding. Which is the day after Christmas, but Mum wants to spend Christmas in Chicago because "it might be Nonna's last," but I don't see how I can do that and be a bridesmaid in Boston at the same time.
Keeping my head up, though. And if anyone will be in Boston the day after Christmas, wants to play escort, and knows how to dance, let me know.
End of September, Mum has a hysterectomy.
A few days before the surgery, Nonna (Mum's mum, in Chicago) falls down, breaks her arm, and is admitted into the hospital.
A few days after that, Nonno (Mum's dad, also in Chicago) totals his car. He's unharmed, and amazed by the wonder of airbags.
Back to Nonna in the hospital -- she tells the doctors that she fell because she can't walk, because she can't feel her feet. They can't find anything wrong with her, and label her a difficult and uncooperative patient, because of course an 87-year-old woman couldn't possibly actually HAVE something wrong with her that they haven't found yet, right?
Nonna keeps insisting there's something wrong (good for her), they do a CAT scan, and find two pinched discs in her back. However, surgery would be too risky, because she's on blood thinners for one thing, so they decide to try to treat it with physical therapy instead.
In October, Mum finds out that they found early-stage endometrial cancer in her removed uterus (this is not why she had the hysterectomy; this is a bonus surprise). As the organ's already out, and it was caught early, her risk is minimal. Still, Mum and the docs decide to remove her ovaries as well, just to be safe, as if it had spread, that's where it would have gone. Mum wants the surgery done immediately, but she's still recovering from the last one, so they schedule a laproscopic procedure for November 19th.
Back in Chicago, Nonna's not being released from the hospital, because they have to figure out what kind of care she'll have at home. While she's there, they find out she's got colorectal cancer. Again, they can't operate, but they're trying to treat it.
And Nonno is turning 90 on November 20th, and we were all supposed to head out to Chicago to celebrate, and stay through Thanksgiving. But now he doesn't want to celebrate while Nonna's in the hospital, and Mum's surgery is the day before, so that plan is off.
Instead, I'm heading out to Chicago from the 20th to the 22nd, just to hang out and keep him company for a few days. Mum would rather I were with him than with her, since I'll see her a few days later anyway.
These are my Cancerpalooza tour dates:
November 12-14 -- Up in Boston to visit with Mum pre-surgery. I will also be leaving the cat up there with her, because she has requested an extended visit with Siena to cheer her up. I'll miss her, but she likes visiting with her grandparents, and I'll get her back at Thanksgiving.
November 20-22 -- In Chicago to visit Nonna and hang out with Nonno, drive him around (since he no longer has a car), but under no circumstances celebrate anything.
November 24-28 -- Back in Boston for Thanksgiving, and to attend to post-operative Mum. And reclaim my baby monkey.
On top of all this, I have a monstrous head cold, Siena was vomiting and is now suffering through a week of special bland food, and I still don't have a date for Denise's wedding. Which is the day after Christmas, but Mum wants to spend Christmas in Chicago because "it might be Nonna's last," but I don't see how I can do that and be a bridesmaid in Boston at the same time.
Keeping my head up, though. And if anyone will be in Boston the day after Christmas, wants to play escort, and knows how to dance, let me know.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Siena the Supermodel
Me: I've been eyeing this stool, just for some randomness
T: it's a must-have for every household.
Me: clearly. I am tempted
T: I thought you just bought a coffee table?
Me: I was just given a coffeee table, and I love it. But this is a stool, like to put your feet up on.
T: oh, well, in that case, as I said, it's a must-have.
Me: or upon which to perch Siena and take pictures of the wild jungle cat
T: exactly.
Me: Siena insists that "Rio" be played at all her photo sessions
T: well, that does go with her long curly locks.
Me: except for when she's feeling hungry, hungry like the wolf
T: she must be excited that Duran Duran just came out with a new album
Me: yes, yes she is
T: well, now i know what to get her for Christmas.
Me: she snuck out at midnight with my purse, and went down to Tower
T: she's so sneaky.
Me: also, she's really good at hailing a cab, and at forging my signature.
T: it's a must-have for every household.
Me: clearly. I am tempted
T: I thought you just bought a coffee table?
Me: I was just given a coffeee table, and I love it. But this is a stool, like to put your feet up on.
T: oh, well, in that case, as I said, it's a must-have.
Me: or upon which to perch Siena and take pictures of the wild jungle cat
T: exactly.
Me: Siena insists that "Rio" be played at all her photo sessions
T: well, that does go with her long curly locks.
Me: except for when she's feeling hungry, hungry like the wolf
T: she must be excited that Duran Duran just came out with a new album
Me: yes, yes she is
T: well, now i know what to get her for Christmas.
Me: she snuck out at midnight with my purse, and went down to Tower
T: she's so sneaky.
Me: also, she's really good at hailing a cab, and at forging my signature.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
PS 321: Countdown to Democracy
When I got to my voting place this morning, the crowds were pretty bad, but not so much as I had feared. The media, however, was out in full force. Vans from NY1 and Fox News were parked out in front, and there were photographers from the NY Times inside.
Fortunately, my district, district 27, had only three or so people in line, so I was in and out in 15 minutes. I think that's because we have a lot of authors, artists, actors, and other types who don't follow a 9-to-5 schedule, and they were probably going to vote once the rush-hour crowds had subsided. One person I did not see while I was there was my across-the-street neighbor, Chuck Schumer, but Gawker did. I know we're a great neighborhood, but I didn't realize we were worthy of so much attention!
Fortunately, my district, district 27, had only three or so people in line, so I was in and out in 15 minutes. I think that's because we have a lot of authors, artists, actors, and other types who don't follow a 9-to-5 schedule, and they were probably going to vote once the rush-hour crowds had subsided. One person I did not see while I was there was my across-the-street neighbor, Chuck Schumer, but Gawker did. I know we're a great neighborhood, but I didn't realize we were worthy of so much attention!
More Portents for Kerry
Our own Jersey Journal is reporting that local psychic Dina Costello has foreseen a Kerry win. Thanks to Barista of Bloomfield Avenue and of course John Shabe.
Monday, November 01, 2004
sushi?
I just saw an ad for Finding Nemo on Ice this morning on the PATH train.
Finding Nemo on Ice? Doesn't that sound like a traumatic visit to the fishmonger's? Who came up with that brilliant idea?
Finding Nemo on Ice? Doesn't that sound like a traumatic visit to the fishmonger's? Who came up with that brilliant idea?
Tecumsah's curse
When the Sox broke the Curse of the Bambino last week, it got me thinking about this other curse: every American president elected in a year ending in zero (every 20 years) will die in office. Which would mean our current president, unless Reagan broke the curse by surviving his assasination attempt. I was kind of amazed that no one had ever mentioned this in regards to the current administration, but even more amazed when I talked about it with my friends over the weekend, and not a one had ever heard of the curse. So now you know.
Redskins predict Kerry win
I'm not a huge follower of football, but I was rooting for the Packers yesterday.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
GO SOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is why it's so great to be a Red Sox fan. Had the Yanks won last night, it would have been their 40th pennant, and <yawn> no one would have cared. But the Sox win? That made HISTORY!!!
Last night, every non-Yankees fan across the country was rooting for the Sox, and they're going to keep rooting for us all through the Series. We are America's darlings! This is why you keep on believing, year after year, heartbreaking loss after heartbreaking loss (don't even talk to me about last year). Take that, Evil Empire! Who's your Papi?
Tonight it will be the Astros or the Cards, and I really hate Clemens. I hated that arrogant lug when he was playing for the Sox, I didn't care how many strikes he pitched. I hated him more when he went to the Yanks after promising he'd never play against the Sox, and I hate him for "retiring" and still being around to annoy us. So, obviously, I want to Cards to win; I've always liked them anyway.
However....
My downstairs neighbor, who knocked on my door at 12:30 last night to celebrate with me, did point out that if the Astros win, it will be Boston versus Texas, kind of like another big competition we've got going on right now. The political implications would be entertaining, to say the least. But I don't think I could take the added stress. Better to put Houston in its place now, and let all our Boston boys ride on to victory!
Last night, every non-Yankees fan across the country was rooting for the Sox, and they're going to keep rooting for us all through the Series. We are America's darlings! This is why you keep on believing, year after year, heartbreaking loss after heartbreaking loss (don't even talk to me about last year). Take that, Evil Empire! Who's your Papi?
Tonight it will be the Astros or the Cards, and I really hate Clemens. I hated that arrogant lug when he was playing for the Sox, I didn't care how many strikes he pitched. I hated him more when he went to the Yanks after promising he'd never play against the Sox, and I hate him for "retiring" and still being around to annoy us. So, obviously, I want to Cards to win; I've always liked them anyway.
However....
My downstairs neighbor, who knocked on my door at 12:30 last night to celebrate with me, did point out that if the Astros win, it will be Boston versus Texas, kind of like another big competition we've got going on right now. The political implications would be entertaining, to say the least. But I don't think I could take the added stress. Better to put Houston in its place now, and let all our Boston boys ride on to victory!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Ortiz is my Papi
I am so in love with David Ortiz today. He saved the Sox with a gorgeous homer Sunday night, and then he did it again last night, with a tieing homer and a winning single! And he was having such a bad time of it before that single, too. First the ump counted a ball as a strike, which meant a strike out, but he totally didn't swing around. Then, when stealing second, he tagged the bag before Jeter tagged him -- replay after replay after replay, from every angle, proved it -- but he'd already been called out.
My gift to the Sox continues unabated; they only score when I'm watching. Last night, I kept an eye on the score at work until I had to go home. It was 2-1 Sox when I left. As I walked home from the subway station, I heard lots of horn honking and firecrackers going off, and my heart sank. I feared the boys had lost while I wasn't watching. When I got home, I ran upstairs, turned on the tv, saw the score was 4-2 Yanks, but it was only the 8th inning! I hung up my coat, sat down on the couch, and BAM! Ortiz hit a homer. Seriously, just like that. Me and Papi together, we could win this thing. I've cleared my schedule for the rest of the week, so I can keep a close eye on things...
My gift to the Sox continues unabated; they only score when I'm watching. Last night, I kept an eye on the score at work until I had to go home. It was 2-1 Sox when I left. As I walked home from the subway station, I heard lots of horn honking and firecrackers going off, and my heart sank. I feared the boys had lost while I wasn't watching. When I got home, I ran upstairs, turned on the tv, saw the score was 4-2 Yanks, but it was only the 8th inning! I hung up my coat, sat down on the couch, and BAM! Ortiz hit a homer. Seriously, just like that. Me and Papi together, we could win this thing. I've cleared my schedule for the rest of the week, so I can keep a close eye on things...
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