VPL, rejoice

Oh, thank heaven. Finally.

make a wish

Leonid meteor showers! Shooting stars!

The question on the table: Is Prince Charles a poofter? And if so, is his taste in men as, umm, misguided as his taste in women?

The larger issue that this dredges up is, what's up with freedom of the press in England?

Ewan over Gallo any day, of course

In a related Gallo story, lower down you'll find this super-obvious statement:

"No need then for a dab of Donna Crème, a new product that claims to heighten le plaisir au feminin, which has just been launched with the utmost decorum on the Croisette. Unfortunately it comes without McGregor."

Of course it doesn't include Ewan. If it did, then we wouldn't need the cream in the first place!

gallo still a cock

"When told of Gallo's latest outburst, Ebert replied: 'I wish Mr. Gallo a speedy recovery.' "

Doggie stylings

It would seem to me that if the dogs are there to "obtain canine carnal knowledge of other furry guests," then wouldn't this be more of a doggie swingers' club than a doggie brothel? Maybe licensing doggie prostitutes is too complicated.

Anonymous Anal Advisor?

To quote Will: Tristan Buttfucking Taormino, bitch! (he loves it when I pretend I'm a "prudish yokel".)

Okay, so I totally missed the reference to Tristan's website in that article (he spelled it wrong anyway). But I still think Doonan's exaggerating the phenom, and I'm not the only one.

Why does Simon Doonan feel the need to share this with us?

A moustache says a lot.

grey matter

The grey menace strikes again.

Roshambo!

My New Rock-Paper-Scissors Technique Is Unstoppable (and pretty risky, too).

he doesn't want to talk about it

"Ah, enough already about the fish," Mr Rosen said. "I wish I never said anything about it. I'm getting so many calls every day, I've stopped answering. Israel, London, Miami, Brooklyn... they all want to hear about the talking fish."

Pulp Phantom

"What does Darth Vader look like?"
"Well, um, he's black?"
"Go on."
"And, and, he's shiny?"

paint job

"Casting a man-high fireball, reportedly with no damage to the paint, the Blaster has been placed on 25 South African vehicles since its introduction last month."

linguist

Apparently, "hokus pokus" means "hanky panky" in Czech. Learn more Czech.

Which Pulp Fiction character are you?

Cram session

Time to brush up on your physics:
Britney's Guide to Semiconductor Physics
A Brief History of Rhyme
Hop to it!

Idiots

As if we don't have enough problems trying to control epidemics, now some idiots think they're trendy.

Which celebrity pedophile are you?

Testing the Limits

I always thought they were awesome, despite the shooting incidents. Give them 37 cents and they'll deliver to the most remote part of the country for you. Now be nice, and don't go getting any ideas here, okay?