Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Radio Free Maggie

These song lyrics used to make me weep every time I heard them:
Cath, she stands with a well intentioned-man
But she can’t relax with his hand on the small of her back
And as the flashbulbs burst she holds a smile
Like someone would hold a crying child

And soon everybody will ask what became of you
When your heart was dying fast and you didn’t know what to do

Cath, it seems that you live in someone else’s dream
In a hand-me-down wedding dress with the things that could've been all repressed
But you said your vows and you closed the door
On so many men who would’ve loved you more

And soon everybody will ask what became of you
When your heart was dying fast and you didn’t know what to do
The whispers that it won’t last roll up and down the pews
But if their hearts were dying that fast they’d have done the same as you
And I’ve done the same as you
But I heard it recently on the radio, and not a single tear. I was actually able to enjoy the song!

It made me realize just how miserable I was when I was dating B. I was so terrified that the above would be my fate -- to marry someone I didn't love enough, just because it was expected and I thought I didn't have any better options. And now I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

Can PTSD be a good thing? I'm definitely having weird feelings and reactions as I sort out what had been happening, but I don't think they are bad reactions or feelings. It's sort of like being Rolfed, or untying a big tangled knot.

So for any of you beloved folks who have wanted to hate him on my behalf, please don't. He did me a huge favor, and got me out of a bad situation that I refused to leave on my own. (Though I love you dearly for having my back, of course!)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Moldy Peaches, Atlantis Resort, Juno, and the greatest show of our time

What do these things have in common? Adam Green is the best he can be! More specifically:
"...they made it even better than we did. I just knew on Gossip Girl I could probably be even better than I am in real life, you know?"
Strangely, this version is less annoying than Ellen Page's rendition....

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I needed that today. First day back in the office after enforced bedrest...

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Patience, little grasshopper

Scorpio (10/23-11/21)
Things are going well for you now, but they might not be moving forward fast enough. Your impatience is starting to get you feeling antsy, and even a little bit worried. The temptation is there to push things along a little bit faster -- but that's not the right thing to do right now. Just keep doing what you're doing. Trust that things will take care of themselves. Everything is moving at the right speed, and you are right where you need to be. Believe it, and relax.
Going to an art opening tonight with George. Deep breaths, stay the course, believe.