Tuesday, February 27, 2007

A Life Less Ordinary


These Days

I've been out walking
I don't do too much talking these days.
These days.
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to.

I've stopped my rambling,
I don't do too much gambling these days
These days.
These days I seem to think about
How all the changes came about my ways
And I wonder if I'll see another highway.

I had a lover,
I don't think I'll risk another these days
These days.
And if I seem to be afraid
To live the life that I have made in song
It's just that I've been losing so long.
La la la la la, la la.

I've stopped my dreaming,
I won't do too much scheming these days
These days.
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten.
Please don't confront me with my failures,
I had not forgotten them.

I first heard 10,000 Maniacs sing this song on several beloved mix tapes in high school. According to the Royal Tenenbaums soundtrack, it was originally sung by Nico.

Tonight I heard Mates of State perform it, during a show that gave me the latest in a chain reaction of little epiphanies. More to come soon, but These Days, my life is changing fast. If you blink, you might be left wondering where I went.

What I learned from TV

I'm going to see This American Life, live and in color, tonight!

A few points of order:

1. I'm getting tired of sending out e-mails to everyone, trying to get folks to do fun things with me. I do fabulous things, and I am excellent company, but I can have fun on my own. And Julie the Cruise Director has a thankless job. So I'm aiming for fewer e-mails, and in their stead I will post my plans here. If something interests you, leave a comment, or pop an e-mail.

2. I am an idiot. As the article didn't mention where to get tix, I googled, and I ended up at one of those reseller places. Only I didn't know it was a reseller, until my ticket arrived and it had someone else's name on it, and a way lower price...

Get schooled

As a former teacher in the Boston Public Schools, I can assure you that they need all the help they can get. So you should definitely get yourself over to this benefit tomorrow night, and enjoy the fine fine music. Maybe you'll also get to see me flirting with a cute musician, if the mood strikes.

Come on, do it for the kids.

(PS: Blogger ate this post as well, had to re-write. Does anyone know what's going on? I keep getting title fields with empty posts below them...)

Planet of the Apes

Chimps are making weapons, and it's the females who are taking this bold leap forward. Slate's take, and I like it (of course) is that "the same adversity that makes humans superior to other animals at innovation also makes females superior to males". Some of us might go so far as to say that is old news.

Monday, February 26, 2007

What JC needs

Oh, Jonathan.... we all need a monkey!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

All about the Seth Cohen

A little bit of pop culture algebra:

I love Seth Cohen.

Matthew Gilbert loves Seth Cohen.

I love Matthew Gilbert.

(I hear he's gay, or maybe married -- or both! Yay, Massachusetts! -- but all my favorite men are, so what's the diff?)

Don't cry for me, Bahamanians!

The latest decision in the ever-more-complex Anna Nicole saga came down today, and I have two questions:

1. Why was the judge crying as he delivered the verdict?
2. Why is her body decomposing faster than expected?

This story just keeps giving and giving. It's got it all -- love, sex, money, death, intrigue, politics (she won before the Supreme Court, don't forget), international diplomacy. Man, if I were still in the newsroom, I would feel Like His Girl Friday right now...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Houston Livestock Show And Rodeo!

I'm off to see me some Beyonce on a flatbed!

Were You Caught in the Viacom Takedown?

The Electronic Frontier Foundation is using YouTube to get back at Viacom!

If your videos or account got wiped out in the melee, which turns out to have been a first volley in Viacom's new partnership with a YouTube competitor, then talk to the EFF about your predicament.

(PS - while we're talking about free hosted platforms that eat your content, this post sucks because Blogger lost what I'd originally posted, which was way wittier, I assure you.)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hook me up

No, of course it's not healthy. Unless you're a New Yorker, maybe.

But if you do somehow manage to have a relationship, here's a handy guide to breaking up in a Web 2.0 world. My only quibble? They tell you lots of ways to protect you from the other person, but only a few ways to protect you from yourself...

And if it gets really bad? You can always go over to the other side; it's better for the kids anyway.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Valentine never sent

I'm a jam tart, I'm a bargain basement,
I'm a work of art, I'm a magic casement,
A coal cellar, an umbrella, a sewing machine,
A radio, a hymn book, an old french bean,
I don't know what I am,
You've put a spell on me.

I'm a dog's nose, I'm Sir Humphrey Davy,
I'm a Christmas rose, I'm the British Navy,
A motor, a bloater, a charcoal grill,
An octopus, a towpath, Hindenburg's will,
A villiage fair, a maiden's prayer, the BBC, a pram –
I don't know what I am,
You've put a spell on me.

I'm a salmon, I'm a starting pistol,
I'm backgammon, I'm the Port of Bristol.
A Times leader, a child's feeder, an aspirin,
The Ritz Hotel, a boy scout, the wages of sin,
A shaving brush, a schoolgirl's crush, the letter B, a ham –
I don't know what I am,
You've put a spell on me.

I'm an off–break, I'm a clump of beeches,
I'm a tummy ache, I'm Mussolini's speeches,
I'm Balmoral, I'm a sorrel mare, I'm a tug
A cigarette, an organ, a big bed–bug
A traffic sign, a rubber mine, a coffee tree, O damn –
I don't know what I am,
You've put a spell on me.

-- W.H. Auden

Prehistoric Romeo and Juliet found

"Archaeologists have unearthed two skeletons from the Neolithic period locked in a tender embrace and buried outside Mantua, just 25 miles south of Verona, the romantic city where Shakespeare set the tale of Romeo and Juliet. Buried between 5,000 and 6,000 years ago, the prehistoric pair are believed to have been a man and a woman and are thought to have died young, as their teeth were found intact, according to Elena Menotti, the archaeologist who led the dig."

Lovesick Monkey Valentine!

Remember how I said I was going to buy me some art?

I did! I did! Wanna see?

Also, Haneway sent me a most excellent monkey-themed valentine card, complete with monkey bookmark/paperclips inside! I swear, this is going to be the best VDay ever!

Even though no one loves me and I am going to grow old alone and sad. But I'll always have my friends. And monkeys! Monkeys, I say!

Approaching the Golden Boar

This weekend is the Lunar New Year. We are entering the Year of the Golden Boar (a special kind of Year of the Boar that happens every 60 years -- thanks for the info, TK!) Apparently this is a particularly fortuitous year in which to be born, so if you're not currently pregnant, get cracking! You've got only two more months to plant a seed! (Will this affect my vacation scheduling? Hard to say...)

Poking around Wikipedia (love Wikipedia!) I looked up my Chinese horoscope, and found out that I am a Metal Dog:
Metal is one of the five elements of Chinese alchemy. The archetypal metal is silver. Metal is associated with the west and autumn, the planet Venus and the colour white. It is believed to govern the lungs. It is associated with organization and stability. Other qualities associated with metal are unyieldingness, persistence, strength and determination. The metal person is forceful and set in their ways as metal is very strong, but they are self-reliant and enjoy the good things in life. The element metal plays an important role in Chinese Astrology and feng shui, the Chinese form of geomancy.

Like his animal namesake, [the dog] is Loyal with a capital "L". He is the one who people are most likely to turn to when they need help. The dog person will come through every time. That is because he/she is sensitive to others and empathizes with them, particularly if someone has suffered an injustice; he/she reacts quickly with the same feeling as though he/she had been personally offended. Friends know that they can rely upon their Dog friend to keep a promise or remain cool in a crisis.

Dog types are honest, intelligent and straightforward. They will take on any responsibility that is given to them and you can be sure that they will do their job well.

People born in this year tend to be difficult, upset and shocked more often than the other signs.

The dog is loyal, unselfish, and idealistic. They can sometimes be worriers and overly critical. Dogs go best with tigers and horses. Their friends are other dogs, tigers (also Von), horses and rabbits (Haneway). Dogs get along worst with Dragons, whom they perceive as arrogant and all flash with no substance.
Dogs have a yang polarity. Bill Clinton and David Bowie are dogs! (but we knew that, right?)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

You Won't Be Single For Long

Thanks, Rachael Ray, for trying to solve our love woes with pasta. Why didn't I think of that sooner?

So long, Anna Nicole Smith

Holy crap! Anna Nicole Smith dies after collapsing at South Florida hotel.

Well, that's one way to get the astronaut love triangle off the front page.

Store to send lobsters gently into that good pot - The Boston Globe

See, this is why I love being back in Boston. We write literary headlines about grocery stores.

Spanking the kitty

And I thought Siena was strange with her nursing-on-cashmere obsession....


I told you that iPods in public are dangerous!

(I do love, however, the side note that we are better than men at multitasking. So true. I once, once, drove with the Bachelor, and he simultaneously annoyed me with his timidity and scared the shit out of me with his incompetence. This was a man who totaled his car because he was changing the CD. I, on the other hand, can talk on the phone, eat a slice of pizza, and change the radio, all while driving my stick shift like a NYC cab driver -- or, as Dad likes to say, like Mario Andretti.)

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Bostonist is spying on me

I am a bad blogger.

On February 1, I posted the following to a mailing list I'm on, regarding the Mooninites:
The best part is that they'd been up already for a few weeks, but someone only noticed them yesterday, triggering the panic.

Honestly, even if our noble leaders (dammit, I used to be a fan of Mumbles Menino, never thought he'd be so knee-jerk idiotic) do succeed in getting Turner to "reimburse" the $750K in "expense" that the stupid stupid law enforcement folks incurred upon themselves (god, I used to love Boston cops too, nice old-school central casting Irish types, call you "sweetheart" as they give you directions and such, dammit this sucks), and even if Turner agrees to pay it, which they surely will...

That's damned CHEAP for all the coverage and bonus advertising they've been getting. This is better than 30 seconds of Superbowl time, and what's the rate for that this year? 2.4 MILLION per spot? $750K for days and days of coverage, introducing Frylock to whole new audiences... I wonder what the ratings will be like this week.
Right after I mailed that out, I considered cutting and pasting it into a blog post, but then had actual work to do, and never got around to it. Then everyone and their mother was writing about it, and it seemed like old news, so I didn't bother.

But then last night, Bostonist posts a follow-up story about the Turner pay-out, and they make the very same point that I did about the free advertising. Now, I know that my point wasn't particularly profound, but here's the thing -- they linked to the very same two-year-old CNN story about Super bowl ad rates that I referenced!

Had I actually posted it here, I would have thought they were loyal readers and were lifting off me. But I didn't post, so I can only conclude that someone over there must be subscribing to the same obscure discussion list in New Jersey!

Serves me right for being lazy.

Monday, February 05, 2007

1-31-2007 Never Forget

Some of you heard me raging about our terror-fueled folly last week. I could go on about how I'd feel safer if our law enforcement showed a bit of judgment, but I think I'll just let the Voice speak for me for now...

Back in the Saddle

Get your high-res Potter porn here.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Google Patents brings you . . .

Monkeys in Spa-a-a-ace!

In an increasingly customizable world...

Today, the Suzuki in front of me on the highway had an annoying bumper sticker. As soon as I saw it, I instinctively reached for the car radio -- to what? Change the channel on the Sidekick? Tivo forward and skip it?

I think so! I think it was like when you reach for the remote when an ad comes on tv. If I were a coffee drinker, I'd be tempted to explain this behavior with "I hadn't had my first cup yet," but that's no excuse for me. I had seen an alarm clock last night that changes the color of the case when you tap the side; maybe that was it? Honestly, I think we've gotten to the point where we expect to be able to modify every aspect of our existence...