Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Detective work

I'm reading the archives of Nina's blog, both to catch up on what I missed, and to try to track back exactly when I gave up on the blogs that used to be both a voice and a community for me. It looks like I stopped commenting, so probably also stopped reading, in July 2009. Which coincides quite nicely with when Nina stopped posting as frequently, so there's that.

But I also notice that I only posted 15 times in all of 2009, and only four times since April of that year. What happened then to cause the decline? I didn't get on Fakebook until summer of 2010, so that didn't replace the blog in my affections.

Could it be when the Billionaire broke my heart, that decimated my writerly efforts? Or was it just that everyone stopped blogging fora while there? Were there other significant shifts or losses to my personality, my identity, around that time?

More study is needed.

Missing monkey

Today I checked out my Google reader for the first time in who knows how long. And I saw that Nina has been blogging again.

I have not.

When I started on Facebook, and then actually started *using* that Twitter account I've had forever, all my idle writing time and random thoughts got redirected there. Which is sad, because I used to really enjoy writing more than 140 characters at a time.

It's also sad that I think I stopped writing because I thought no one was really interested. My former place of employment was such a degrading cesspool of misery, that I spent a few years there thinking that I wasn't really worth much, and making lots of bad choices because of that mistaken notion. But clicking through some old posts, I see a lot of linkbacks, so I guess folks relay were reading after all!

Yes, I said former employer. I left in January, and like Nina, have been taking some time to try to figure out what would make me happier. I was *supposed* to be writing, but haven't done nearly enough of that. Finding Nina again today reminded me of my own beloved blog here.

I can't promise that I'll be as prolific as I once was. First of all, I need to start writing under my real name, to build up my reputation and clips file. And I'm still not comfortable having employers see some of the tales of my wild urban youth. (Also, my mom is totally into the interwebs now; she finds everything.) But I can try.

I love and miss you all. And I miss Maggie!

love and monkeys,