Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Semi-colonic

For all this talk about how no one knows how to use it, how it's falling into disuse, how no one understands it anymore, I seem to know a lot of people; in addition to myself, who have a hearty appreciation for the semicolon.

So what's the problem?

(Yes, I know you want to know how my insemination went, but I am late for dinner. For now I will tell you two things: there was a lot of cramping and spotting, and yet I bought a bib this weekend.)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Thrown for a loop

Warning --stream of consciousness ahead. I'm rushing between meetings and if I have to take time to write this nicely, it will never get posted.

Remember the J. Crew Catalog? And the lovely pics of my uterus? You may have noticed a dearth of news about this lately. Sorry about that. But here's the thing -- every time I try to choose a donor, or do anything else to move towards the goal, I start to hyperventilate. My lovely red-headed step-intern (actually now a fully fledged coworker who ROCKS) gave me a copy of Choosing Single Motherhood, and every time I try to read it I start to cry and have to put it down. Sometimes I look at the donors and no one is good enough, other times I like them all and want to take them all home. I even started a last-ditch effort of asking a new round of friends if they wanted to help out, with no takers.

And then there's the Boyfriend, who sometimes would love to help out, and sometimes is totally freaked about the whole thing. With him on the fence about babies and me on the fence about our long-term future, I keep deciding that it's not a good idea. And yet, I keep deciding that, as in, the decision is never final, we keep rethinking.

Every year on February 13, my mother calls me to remind me of the anniversary of my conception. Yes, she has no boundaries, but if I dig any deeper into that, I'll have to start a whole new blog. A few weeks ago, I was looking at my temperature chart/calendar, and I realized that it looked like I would be ovulating on the 13th myself this month!

How exciting! Share the anniversary! Share a birthday with my child! How wacky, how fated, how perfect! But then the waterworks and conflict started, and here we are one the 12th and I have not procured any sperm.

Honestly, I thought it didn't matter. The Jolly German has me peeing on sticks, to more precisely pinpoint ovulation than the temperature chart can, and it looked like I'd gone early this month, over the weekend.

Last night, with the long weekend approaching, I suddenly decided that I really wanted to see the boyfriend, that I couldn't wait until next month when we go on vacation. Also, I really wanted to have the sex with him.
RIGHT.
AWAY.

Don't get me wrong, I adore him. It's just that I can usually deal just fine when we're apart. But last night, if I could have jumped into a plane right then to go be with him, I would have. And that kind of transcontinental urgency? Yes, that is atypical.

I booked a flight for Thursday night (aww, Valentine's Day).

This morning, I peed on another stick. I usually do this for a day or two after ovulation, just to confirm the waning end of the pink stripes.

Holy God.

There resulted the widest, darkest, deepest pink stripe I have yet to see in three months of stick-peeing. There have been months when I couldn't tell a difference at all in a week's worth of stripes. This is definitely NOT one of those months.

I have never seen a clearer sign. I was right, I am ovulating on the 13th. (The sticks give you a day or two heads-up, here, read about it.)

So, now the questions:
  • Do I have time to choose a donor?
  • Will the bank be able to deliver in time?
  • Will my doctor be able to see me tomorrow?
  • Can I schedule this around the Big Important Meeting tomorrow?
    OR
  • Is this all just a sign that I should try with B Thursday night?


Please note that if I don't try this month, then B is my only option for next month, as we will be in the Caribbean during the critical time, away from the Jolly German and any easy way to receive cryogenic deliveries. So if not this month, then it's either B, or wait until April.

AND now I have another meeting...

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Dee-licious!



You are breakfasty, like a pile of pancakes on a Sunday morning that have just the right amount of syrup, so every bite is sweet perfection and not a soppy mess. You are a glass of orange juice that's cool, refreshing, and not overly pulpy. You are the time of day that's just right for turning the pages of a newspaper, flipping through channels, or clicking around online to get a sense of how the world changed during the night. You don't want to stumble sleepily through life, so you make a real effort to wake your brain up and get it thinking. You feel inspired to accomplish things (whether it's checking something off your to-do list or changing the world), but there's plenty of time for making things happen later in the day. First, pancakes.

Monday, January 28, 2008

The State of the Union Address Drinking Game 2008

Take heart, tonight's the last time we have to be publicly embarrassed by him. That said, you'll still have to drink to get through it.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Where, kitty kitty?

Kitty travels far. Poor adventurous kitty!

We love you Henry Santoro!

This morning, driving in my car, I turn on the radio. I'm listening to WFNX, my favorite radio station, which I've listened to since 1985, which no other station in any city has ever been able to replace in my heart. Trust me, the New York years had no frequency; they were dry indeed.

As most radio stations are wont to do, 'FNX changes their format occasionally, especially during the morning drive. I've been slow to warm up to their latest effort, the Sandbox, but it has one saving grace that has kept me listening for the past few months.

Henry Santoro.

God I love Henry. Maybe it's because I'm so old, and I just don't relate to these kids today, with their lip piercings and their slacking and... okay, if you've ever read this blog you know THAT'S not true. But still, I love Henry. He is a gentleman, perceptive and erudite, an excellent speaker with a quick wit who elevates the broadcast every morning.

So imagine my shock this morning, when a few minutes after I turned on the station, I heard Hank suddenly announce that this would be his last news update for the station. The Sandbox kids sounded shocked and confused, but they sound like that every morning.

I suspected it was a prank, but called the station anyway, where an overwhelmed intern told me that the studio was empty because everyone had run after Henry to try to talk him down. After about 10 minutes of commercials and station IDs, most of the DJs returned to air, minus Henry and one person who was talking to him. They assured us that he was still in the building, and continued the broadcast as best as they could.

By the time I got to the office and had to stop listening, there had been no more news. This link is all the info I could find on the interwebs. No one at the news organization where I work knew anything about it. If you know more, please comment here!

Henry is a Boston institution and a legend of both the Boston music and broadcasting scenes. Please support Henry, send him your love, and get him back on the air!

UPDATE: I just listened to an audio link (also linked above) that I picked up from Ken Jenning's website forums. As I said earlier, I tuned on the radio just in time to hear him quit and leave the studio. Now, having listened to the whole show and also read Jennings' forums, I have a few fresh thoughts:

1. First of all, just to clarify, I have no comment on C. Marks and what he says about Jennings and his fans. I had no idea why Henry stormed out, I just want him to come back. I didn't even know who Ken Jennings was. Though this guy Isaac from the forums does seem to be a known troublemaker, and the Sandbox guys did refer to a person, in the singular, who was calling repeatedly to complain to the station.

2. I know the management at FNX has a bad rep, so I kind of figured that this was about the folks upstairs not backing him up when people called in to complain. That said, now that I've listened to the whole thing, it still sounds like a stunt to me. I notice that they keep mentioning Henry's 25 years of experience. Is it possible that today was Henry's 25th anniversary? Or the station's?

3. I think the comments below are a testament to how much folks love Henry. No one here questioned what happened, they only expressed support.

I know a guy who works at FNX, and have popped an e-mail asking for more deets. Maybe we'll hear the rest of the story tomorrow morning on the air?


YET ANOTHER UPDATE, a day later:
The following day, Henry was back on the air, but with no explanation of what happened. I still think it has something to do with a 25th anniversary -- but I also hope that Hank got a lovely free meal and lots of booze out of it!

Also, Ken Jennings was an incredible tool in his humorless response. Oh, no! Now they're going to gang up on me! Okay, Ken Jennings' response was no fun, is that better?

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Since I'm shopping from a catalog...

... I might as well shop the J Crew catalog...

Oh, it's on!

I'm getting excited!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

On the shoulders of giants

Wesleyan University people on Wikipedia

I should really get off my ass and do something worthy of putting me on this list...

I'm coming Uppance

Check it out! All the assholes are getting their come-uppances today! (from BANG! because you know I love it.)
Eddie Murphy and his new 'wife' Tracey Edmonds have split.
The comic actor and film producer - who exchanged vows on a French Polynesian private island off the coast of Bora Bora on New Year's Day (01.01.08) - have decided not to go ahead with a US ceremony to make their marriage legally binding.
Eddie, 46, and Tracey, 40, said in a statement: "After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further.
“While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends."
The couple’s union reportedly got off to a rocky start following their romantic beach ceremony, which was conducted at sunset in front of 25 friends and family.
A wedding guest said: "Eddie started yelling at Tracey in front of people. He did it on a few occasions and it was very embarrassing."
The pair are still officially single under the eyes of Polynesian law, which dictates newlyweds must live there for a month to make their marriage legally binding.
Eddie and Tracey began dating in late 2006 and were engaged in July 2007.
Eddie has five children from his marriage to Nicole Mitchell Murphy, who filed for divorce in 2005. He also has a daughter, Angel Iris, with Spice Girl Mel B.
Tracey has two sons from her 13-year marriage to singer Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds.
I particularly like the sarcastic quotes around "wife".

Seriously, I'm so glad Tracey seems to have come to her senses. While all marriages have their own secrets and problems, of course, Babyface strikes me as a pretty good guy, definitely not the type to abandon his baby mama live on Dutch TV. It must have been hard for Tracey to wake up next to a self-absorbed, megalomaniac, trannie-riding asshole (who makes shit movies and worse music) after more than a decade with a sweet and cute musical genius.

And in other asshole news, Ike Turner apparently died of a cocaine overdose.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Cabo San Lupus

It's not Lupus, it's never Lupus

Also? Dr. House has a posse, apparently.

Thanks, Gawker!

Monday, January 07, 2008

Excellent Brooklyn apartment, yours for the renting

Is anyone looking for an AWESOME apartment in Brooklyn? My sub-leaser is moving out Feb. 1, and I'm trying to find a replacement tenant for my landlord.

Rent-stabilized one-bedroom, about 700 square feet, second floor walk-up on President Street three doors down from Prospect Park West. Nearest subway stop is 2,3 line at Grand Army Plaza.

Eat-in kitchen (with a sturdy fire escape), bay-windowed living room, two large closets in bedroom plus a coat closet in the foyer. Bathroom was gut-renovated down to the studs in 2004, beautiful renovation. Original parquet floors throughout, slightly flooded in 2005, refinished in 2006. Nice neighbors in this family-owned building (plus Chuck Schumer and John Turturro on this block, if you're into that...).

The rent is about $1800, stabilized, plus one month security, no fee.

If you're interested or have questions, please e-mail me at maggiebex@gmail.com, or leave a comment.

Imagine, a nice apartment and a testament to my lost wild days (when this blog was perhaps more entertaining...)

Friday, January 04, 2008

Spanking is the theme of the day

This morning, I awoke with a start from a dream where the Captain was spanking me for being late on a writing deadline. (Good thing too, because not only am I late for a writing deadline, but I was also oversleeping at the time that the dream awoke me.)

This afternoon, Gawker addressed the spanking-or-child-abuse debate in their typically thoughtful manner.

I love it when Gawker plumbs my subconscious for clues to the Zeitgeist.

How to Mix a Maggie

The Recipe For Magdalena Kennedy

3 parts Seductiveness
2 parts Wit
1 part Humor

Splash of Laughter

Sip slowly on the beach


Thanks, Nina!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Resolution #1

Get my finances all orderly.

Jennifer Jennifer

Last night I finally managed to watch all of Shortbus without falling asleep. I've had it for months from Netflix (Oh, god, I just checked my queue, and apparently I've had it since 06/05/07 -- Most Expensive Rental EVER), but at least three times I fell asleep in the first ten minutes. If you've seen the first ten minutes, you know how odd this is -- or maybe how tired I am. (Should watching it with someone young enough to be my son have been awkward? Because it wasn't. Maybe I'm just ridiculous.)

Without giving away anything important of the plot, there's this domme who says her real name is Jennifer Aniston. Continuing on a theme, today this very pleasant Aniston news came over BANG, our British gossip feed:
Jennifer Aniston is dating 'Sex and the City' star Jason Lewis, it has been claimed.
The 'Friends' star saw in the New Year in Mexico's exclusive Los Cabos resort with best pal Courteney Cox and her husband David Arquette and a goateed mystery man, revealed to be model-turned-actor Jason.
A source told America's OK! magazine: "Jason flew out with Jennifer, Courteney and David on a private jet from California last week. He and Jen have been seen hugging on the beach as they enjoyed the sun together."
The 38-year-old actress and the 36-year-old model have been rumoured to be dating for weeks, but have chosen to take their relationship to the next level by starting the year together.
Jennifer briefly dated British model Paul Sculfor last year and was also rumoured to have rekindled her romance with her 'The Break-Up' co-star Vince Vaughn for a short time.
Jason - who plays Samantha's toyboy lover Smith Jerrod in the 'Sex and the City' movie - previously dated actress Rosario Dawson for two years.
This makes me very happy, because I do adore Jen, and I think she deserves to be happy with someone who makes her smile and is as pretty as she is. From all reports, Jason Lewis is an excellent boyfriend, all happy and doting and supportive and non-competitive. So I have a good feeling that this will work out for her.

Also, the timing is perfect. Everyone is getting really sick of the tedium of the Brangelina PR machine, and casting Jen as the slighted victim is getting old too. It would be so lovely to give a new spin to the story and show her all happy and unfettered for a change!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

A jingly sweep of velvet


I have this amazing beaded velvet skirt that I bought online last year, and that I wear to death during the holidays. It is perfect -- strangers stop me on the street to ask about it and pay compliments. It's somehow both work-appropriate and party-riffic.

I just noticed that it's still available online, deeply discounted, and in a full range of sizes. For anyone who ever asked about it, go get it now! So cheap, so pretty, so flattering!

By the way, if you're surprised to find out that J. Peterman is more than a running Seinfeld gag, let me assure you that his clothes are top-notch. I still have the nightgown and the khaki skirt that I bought from his catalog back when I was in college.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Midtown mitten mystery near midnight

Oh, my goodness!

So, if you figured out the location of my poetic mitten drop, as Manda and I did, it may have occurred to you, as it did to me, that Penn Station, where trains from Boston arrive at 10 pm, is a mere two blocks from my mitten drop.

So I got off the train, and went straight to said mitten drop. I was on the phone with B, as he was very intrigued by the mitten game and wanted a play-by-play. We wondered along the way what the "four treats" were. I mean, the Empire State building sure is lovely, and large, but I would only count it as one treat. And there were way more than four street-side food carts along the way.

I get to Tractor Feed's "college of grad school learning" and there is a woman at the desk. Something is up, for this is not the "mitts with man [Nina] know[s]". B reads me the script from the haiku, so I tell the woman, precisely:

"Nina made gray mittens
They are for glorious me
hand them over, please"

...
She stared blankly at me for a few seconds and then said, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

She looked around the lost-and-found, found nothing, and then we left a bright green post-it note for tomorrow's shift that said:
"Hello!
Maggie was here to pick up the mittens which Nina left for her. I will return and try again Saturday.
Thank you!"

Then I went to Manda's house, and was going to write Nina an e-mail, but first I saw this post.

Then I saw her Twitter that she's sending me an e-mail with new directions. But honestly, I have so many defunct e-mails associated with this blog, who knows where she's sending it. I just discovered a two-month-old e-mail from Bostonist, kindly resetting my commenting password as I requested, but then I'd never checked that account again for a reply.... Goodness.

I take full responsibility for this situation, as I decided my travel plans so late in the game. Or we could blame the multiple storms for spooking me to the weather.

PS, this really is the coolest game. Even better now for the added adventure!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Reader is my Friday Mitten Fairy

Oh. My. God. Goosebumps.

Nina has made mittens for me.

Mittens!

I am so incredibly behind on my own knitting (along with everything else in my life), I almost feel like I don't deserve them. But I have to say, it feels really nice to be on the receiving end of a homespun present! I still fondly wear the purple wrist warmers Shana made for me a few years ago.

I understand the general area where the mittens are, but I'm not too clear on the details, as I'm kind of rusty on Manhattan locales. Haneway, Manda, can you help? Maybe we can search together tomorrow?

Many many thanks from your "Grand Duchess of Boston Internet Excellence"!