My husband the free man

So Clooney is single again because "Sarah Said Too Much"? George, dear, let's review the facts:

• You are private, and shield yourself from the intrusions of fame behind a wall of humor
  
• I shield myself behind a fake blog identity
  
• You don't want your girlfriend using you to advance her career
  
• I have my own career, thanks.
  
• You have a house in Italy
  
• I have a house in Italy. Also, I speak Italian.

Darling, I wouldn't even want to walk the red carpet. You can go to those events on your own.