A few of you have pointed out that I've left some gaping holes in the Lumberjack Saga, as I just jumped in in medias res this week. So today the VodkaTonic hipster got the whole back story, which we now share with you....
VodkaTonic: Any update on the lumberjack? Does the lumberjack predate buying the house?
Me: All happened around the same time. I met the lumberjack when I moved to Boston.
VodkaTonic: Oh yeah, good choice not letting him work on your house. Not that he might not do a great job, but if he did a bad job, then you would be fucked.
VodkaTonic: And you have, or have not, gone on a date?
Me: Depends on what you call a date. We had this one night that definitely felt like a date, except that he didn't kiss me at the end of it.
VodkaTonic: Where did you meet?
Me: Through friends. First there was a drinking outing. He was kind of obnoxious, and we didn't talk much, and later I didn't even remember him. Then like a week later, there was a group dinner outing, like a dozen of us, and he and I sat together, and talked the whole time, and it was amazing. After dinner, a few of the dozen went for a drink, and he picked the perfect bar. Then after drinks a few of us went for a walk to sober up, and we found a playground and played on it, and it continued to be fabulous.
Me: The next week, we talked on the phone for a while, and he said he'd help me refinish some furniture. Then after that we were talking like every day.
Me: We saw fireworks together on the 4th, just him and me, but he didn't kiss me. But then he got pissy at a party when another guy was talking to me.
VodkaTonic: The playground is really cute. And he is sooo interested.
Me: Then he went on a business trip for two weeks and I didn't see him.
VodkaTonic: You just aren't being aggressive.
Me: And when he came back, we went out on Friday with the group, and we bickered all night, but Saturday he promised he’d be nice if I came out. So we went to a show, and he was so sweet, and then we went back to his house, and stood in his kitchen and ate ice cream out of the container together. Then he showed me all the work he’d done on his house, and then we went to the attic.
VodkaTonic: oh god that is so cute
Me: And he'd strung lights from the rafters, and it started to rain, and we could hear it right over our heads on the roof. And we were standing close.
Me: And HE DIDN"T KISS ME!
VodkaTonic: I think that you need to kiss him.
Me: Fuck that.
VodkaTonic: The girl needs to start these things.
Me: I hate always having to be the aggressor.
VodkaTonic: Guys are pussies.
Me: no shit
VodkaTonic: But guys think it’s hot.
Me: Whatever. So then he went away again for another week of business trip, and then when he came back, he had this whole plan that he was going to pack a bag and come over my house and do the work on the kitchen. Then shower at my place, and we were going to go out. The whole thing sounded like a pretense to have to stay over.
VodkaTonic: Yeah kinda
Me: He even wanted me to come pick him up, so then he wouldn't have a car. So you know he'd end up staying over. And I was all for the plan, but then he cancelled, and came over Saturday morning instead -- in his own car.
VodkaTonic: what was the reason?
Me: None given. He is stingy with details of his life.
VodkaTonic: hmmmm, I don't think I like that.
Me: Me neither. But he spent the whole Saturday with me, and my kitchen, and my friend who was visiting. And it was a great day, and he was so nice to my friend. And we went swimming, and he did not kiss me, but at least this time we were with other people, so there was a reason.
Me: Then suddenly last week, he was always busy and we didn't see each other. Then last night he said that sweet thing about why he wanted to help me with my house, but I wanted to see him before he leaves on the next trip and he said no.
Me: So I told him, “I'm going to stop now, because I can't do anymore and still be socially acceptable, without embarrassing myself. The ball is now in your court.”
VodkaTonic: You actually spoke all this?
VodkaTonic: oh my god talk about confusing! This man sounds like he could be great and could also never make a move and completely lose his chance.
Me: Exactly! I mean, how many perfect moments can he waste by not kissing me? Fireworks, rain on the attic roof, swimming at sunset?
VodkaTonic: Sounds like you need to definitely put it on ice for a week.
Me: Yeah. Last night I was as clear as I could stomach. Now I need a vacation. Good thing he’s leaving town tomorrow.