Thursday, May 12, 2005

Is this a date?

Seriously, what is wrong with single people in New York? How many articles about confusion and vagueness in dating do I have to link to? We have lost our communication skills, friends.

For example, Bachelor #1 disappears for weeks at a time, and then shows up out of the blue, expecting me to adore him. When I don't, because he's a self-absorbed absentee freak, he actually seems wounded. But he doesn't talk to me about it; he just disappears again.

Bachelor #2 also got a bit vague after the back-and-furniture-breaking events of last weekend. He's been busy at work and I've been out of town, so I'm cool with that. But last night at 1 a.m., I heard from someone else that B#2 had been raving about our little performance. I mean, I appreciate the props, baby, but if it was good enough for boy talk, you could have told me, too! Girls do like compliments.

So I called him on that, and he laughed. And yet, I'm still waiting for my flattery.

I know, I need a real man, and not a married one. Currently taking applications; feel free to post to the comments.


Personalidade Bloguinho Portuga said...

You're currently taking applications? Cool!!! Oh, wait, I'm married and on the other side of the Atlantic. Damn!

I find it interesting this trial-and-error strategy you're taking. But what is it that you're looking for? Is it a boyfriend? A boyfriend that you can eventually upgrade to husband? Have you decided on that or are you just playing by hear?

Also, on your opening paragraph. Do you really think that it's a problem of lost communication skills? I think that the problem might be more that in this day and age everyone is searching for their soul mate. A little bit to the left or the right isn't good enough. So we keep on rejecting the opportunities that cross our paths... weel, maybe this is an exageration. But think about what happens when you meet someone on a "date" perspective. Each one talks about their self. If they're boring doing it, they're out. If they talk too much and don't listen to the other, they're out. If they can't maintain a conversationm they're out. Many times the other person ou yourself still has feelings for the ex. I could go on and on and on, but I'm taking too much of your comment space. Sorry about that :-)

Anyway, what I was trying to get at is that there are so many things that constitute an obstacle to two people getting together that it's a miracle that people still manage to build a relation. Funny, never had really thought about that before.

Maggie said...

funny you should mention the whole talking about ourselves aspect. One of the reasons I called bachelor #1 self-absorbed is that when he told me that he thinks I'm a very open person, it was only in the context of what I think or say about him. He has no concept of my identity beyond himself.

As for Bachelor #2, although he does seem to enjoy my company, I think it's just because I'm a girl who's willing to spend time with him. I suspect that any other girl would do just as nicely.

And what do I want? Hmm. I've always wanted a family, but I always suspected I'd have to do it on my own. I'm a strong, independent person, and many men can't deal with it. What I really want is a partner, someone on my team, who's not afraid of my strength but at the same time can take the lead or support me when I need it. If I could find a guy like that, I'd marry him in a week. In the meantime, I'm spinning my wheels to keep busy.

Thanks for checking in from Portugal! Someday I hope to get back there and have a proper visit.

Anonymous said...

I think you need to start thinking positively and relax about it. If there is one thing I learned from my little fiasco, it's that how we think and what we believe absolutley influences our destiny.